Page 6 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

“He’s my little brother.”

“He’s…loud.”

James smiled. “He is.”

“Are him and I supposed to be close? He seemed pretty upset.”

“The two of you are really good friends.” James left his perch against the wall and walked over to me. “My family and friends became yours.”

My heart started racing. What was he about to do?

He eyed the machine that was monitoring my heart rate and smiled. “Everyone you’ve seen today loves you. But no one on this earth loves you as much as I do.” He slowly reached out his hand and brushed his fingers against my cheek.

I flinched and he immediately pulled away.

The look of hurt on his face was palpable. I hadn’t flinched when his brother had repeatedly hugged me. Why had I flinched from his touch? I needed to change the subject. I needed to wipe away that look of pain.

“Who are Scarlett and Liam?” I asked.

The hurt seemed to grow tenfold. His Adam’s apple rose and fell as he stared at me.

“Two people I should know I guess?” I said.

Tear

s formed in the corners of his eyes. If I hadn’t been staring at him, I would have missed it, because he immediately blinked them away.

He cleared his throat. “If you’ll excuse me for one second. I just…I need a minute.” He hurried away from me, like he couldn’t stand being next to me for another second.

I was left alone in the hospital room. I breathed a sigh of relief. I rather liked being alone.

Chapter 4

Tuesday

Visiting hours were over. Thank goodness. I wanted to fall asleep, but I couldn’t make myself close my eyes. It felt like I was in a horror movie, and as soon as I let my guard down I’d be taken.

Instead, I stared at the closed blinds. All day long as random people visited me, my eyes had been drawn to the closed blinds. Light had streamed through and I so badly wanted to be outside instead of locked in here. I had never liked running, but for some reason I felt like I had years of pent-up energy. I wanted to run around campus with the wind in my hair. It was an unfamiliar sensation and it made me start to wonder if everyone was telling the truth. Because I certainly hated running. But what if time had morphed into this alternate reality where I loved jogging? I shook away the thought. It couldn’t be true. I couldn’t be missing seven years of my life. I just couldn’t.

I continued to stare at the blinds. I knew it was nighttime, but there still seemed to be light streaming through them. How was that possible? And I knew I was in a hospital, but the night didn’t sound right. Like the blanket of sleep hadn’t reached anyone outside yet. It sounded like there were cars still honking. Like I was on Main Street during rush hour. What hospital was I in? Christiana, probably. That was the closest one to campus.

I slowly stood up. A nurse had unhooked me from everything earlier and said I was free to roam around the room. That it would be good for me to start moving again. That was probably why I felt the need to run. No one had told me how long I had been in here, but it must have been awhile because my legs felt weak as I walked over to the window.

The sounds of a busy street were even louder as I drew closer. I pushed aside the blinds to either side and stared down. And down. And down. To a city street far below. Yellow taxi cabs sped by, cutting off other cars, leaving so many horns blaring in their wake. New York City. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind about my current location. What the fuck was I doing in NYC? I took a step back, letting the blinds fall into place.

It’s just a bad dream. None of this is real. But when I reached out and opened up the blinds again, the same scene stretched out as far as I could see.

I hated New York. I hated the rude people and the lack of grass and fresh air. Even if everyone was telling the truth and I was 26 and married to an old man, I knew this couldn’t be. I would never in a million years move to New York City. I hated it here. I’d never do this.

I put my hand on my forehead. I was losing my mind. None of this was real. None of it. I took a deep breath and walked back toward my bed. I needed to go to sleep. And then I’d wake up from this nightmare. Everything would go back to normal. I’d ace my sociology exam. I’d stand up to Austin. And I’d be happy, albeit alone. I’d much rather be alone for eternity than doomed to a life in NYC with a strange man and stranger friends. I was used to being on my own.

Before I reached the bed, my feet stopped. I looked over at the bathroom door. Looking in a mirror would help me confirm that no time had been lost. That I was still the 19 year old girl I knew that I was.

I felt my hands tremble as I pushed open the door and flipped on the light. I warily stepped in front of the sink and stared into the mirror. I barely recognized my reflection. Not that I looked that different. Just small things that made me not recognize the person staring back at me. My face looked thinner than I remembered, but that was probably just from my hospital stay. My hair looked shinier and fuller than usual. Which was odd because I had been lying in a hospital bed for God knows how long. How did it look so good still? It was also a little shorter. Maybe the hospital staff had cut it. That was something they probably did for patients, right?

I touched the side of my left eye. The small creases that cut through the skin by the corners of my eyes couldn’t be as easily explained. I was probably just in desperate need of moisturizer. But really, my complexion looked great. I’d take the creases next to my eyes over the blackheads on my nose any day. I leaned closer to the mirror. My pores had never looked so clear.

Things like that didn’t just change overnight. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. I’m imagining this. It isn’t real. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, expecting my 19 year old self to be staring back at me once again.

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