Page 36 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

“So tell me what the last thing you remember is. James caught me up on the phone, but I’d like to hear it from you.”

“I was studying for my sociology final. I thought I must have fallen asleep or something while I was reading through my notes.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I feel the same as I did when I was 19. My heart even still feels broken from the last message I got from Austin…”

“What did he say in it?”

“That he thought we should maybe take a break over the summer and see how things go next semester.”

“Oh. I remember that one. You were really upset.”

I looked down into my teacup. “I am upset.”

“Penny, that was seven years ago.”

“It doesn’t feel that way.”

“Well, I’m going to give you a quick rundown, okay? You aced your Soci exam.”

I smiled.

“And all your other exams, like always. And you went home and worked some dumb retail job over the summer. We talked all the time even though we were apart. You were still torn up over Austin. And then near the end of summer he said he was coming back to campus early and that he hoped to see you soon. So you went back early too. And he stopped texting you like the ass that he is.”

“So I never heard from him again?” I looked up from my cup. That hurt. He totally ghosted me.

“Not exactly. I forced you to go out with him one more time. But it was only because you didn’t tell me that you were dating your professor.”

“I really did that? Why? I don’t understand how I could risk everything for something so ridiculous.”

“Love isn’t ridiculous, Penny.”

“Fine, but I couldn’t have loved him right away. I risked everything for what? Lust? A teenage fantasy?”

“I don’t think so. I think it was love at first sight.”

I laughed.

“You’re bitter because all you remember is Austin and how he treated you. But Penny, James is a great guy. He was this mysterious, uber sexy, older man that was completely and utterly unattainable. I can see why you lost all reason around him.”

“But having sex with my professor?” My voice was hushed even though it was just the two of us. “I would never ever do that.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. You did.”

“I like to follow rules, Melissa. And that’s so against every rule in the book. Not to mention I hate upsetting my parents. I would never do something so reckless. People don’t just change overnight.”

“You did. You just…you met him and things changed. You both pushed each other’s boundaries. And you both grew together.”

“He didn’t need to do any growing. He was already a grown up.”

“You were almost 20 when you met. You were basically a grown up too.”

I sighed. “I just…I don’t understand how I could be so madly in love with him that I’d ruin the rest of my life. James and I have nothing in common. We’re not exactly two pieces of the same puzzle. I’m not even sure I like him, let alone love him. We don’t fit. He’s not my person.”

“You do fit. And your life wasn’t ruined. Look around, Penny. Your life is amazing.”

“I want to go back to Newark.”

Melissa sighed. “James was right, you’re not even trying.”

“Whose side are you on here?”

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