Page 33 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

“But I’m back now.”

“Not completely. It’s easy to forget when we’re like this. You look and sound and act like my Penny. But I can see the difference in your eyes. There’s no love there. What’s the point of sleeping when it already feels like I’m in a nightmare I can’t wake

up from?”

That’s what I had been thinking this was. A terrible nightmare I was stuck in. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I felt the same way for the opposite reasons. My lack of love toward him terrified him. And his love for me terrified me. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not asking for you to apologize. This isn’t your fault. I just…I never thought I could miss you so much when you were sitting across from me. You really don’t remember anything? Nothing I told you jogged your memory?”

“I’m sorry.”

He cringed at my apology. “Please stop apologizing. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“I’m sorry...geez. I can’t seem to stop,” I said with a laugh. “I always apologize for everything.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed my hand. “You did that a lot when we first met.”

“I did?”

He nodded. “Not so much since. It must have been a 19-year-old thing.”

I laughed. “Probably because any time anyone gave me attention it felt like I was in trouble. I’ve spent most of my life being invisible. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person that is capable of feeling alone in a crowded room.”

“But you’re never alone. You have me.”

My heart felt like it stopped beating as I stared into his eyes.

“I’ve always seen you, Penny. The only time I’m happy is when you’re in a room with me.”

God was he handsome. When he looked at me like that if made me want to melt into my chair. My whole body felt like it was on fire. And I had the strangest urge to lean across the table and kiss him. “What time is Melissa coming today?” I blurted out. I wanted to punch myself in the face as soon as the words spilled out of my mouth. Why had I felt so compelled to take that beautiful moment and ruin it? What is wrong with me? Love was staring me in the face and I had just pissed all over it for no reason at all.

He let go of my hand and straightened in his seat. “Not until 8:30.” He glanced down at his watch. “I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. We should probably get going.”

“You told me everything except what happened to me.” I felt like there was more he was holding back. There were holes in his story that I was only just starting to realize. I was dying to get my phone back so I could research his ex-wife and see what she was up to. And to see what she looked like. Stop it.

“I’ll tell you when I get home tonight.” He slowly stood up, pressing his hand against the table as if he needed the support. He looked so unbelievably tired. “I’m already running late.”

“You’re not coming back to the apartment with me?” I walked with him out of the restaurant.

“I have some errands I have to run.”

Hadn’t he just said he was late? Like for an appointment? Errands and an appointment weren’t the same thing. You’re hiding something from me. Hell, he was probably hiding a ton from me. But whatever he was doing, I was pretty certain it wasn’t a class. Rob’s cover for him was flimsy at best. Besides, if James had been going to teach a class, he would have just said that. Instead, he was acting all mysterious about running secret errands. I tried not to let it bother me, but it did. His lies stung after our nice evening.

“I…” my voice trailed off as we stepped back into Central Park. “James, I’m not sure I know how to get back.” I was all turned around. Had we turned right or left on the path to get here? And hadn’t Rob said I was in danger? I felt a chill run down my spine. As soon as I thought about being in danger, it was like I could feel someone watching me. I looked over my shoulder at the restaurant we had just been in. No one was looking at me. Everyone was eating and talking and having fun. I tried to shake the thought away as I turned back to James.

“Briggs and Porter are going to walk you home.”

It was like they materialized out of thin air before me. “Where did you guys just come from?” I asked.

“The bench over there,” the taller one said.

I glanced at the bench he pointed at. They must have been blending into it because I swear I had just seen that bench empty a moment ago. It was probably them watching me though. I took a deep breath, trying to calm the unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Can’t I come with you?” I asked James. I didn’t want to be left alone with the strange men. I was just starting to get used to him. Why was he leaving me again?

James shook his head. “You should be there to greet Melissa. I told her she could stay at the apartment, like you requested.”

“Thank you.” Our conversation had flowed so easily before, but now it was stiff and formal. I was tempted to shake his hand and wish him a nice night like I was never going to see him again.

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