Page 17 of A Whirlwind of Color (The Light to My Darkness 2)

“You’ve changed a lot in seven years.”

“So much so that I’ve lost myself?” I didn’t mean for the words to spill out, but they did. And now it was too late. I hated that he looked hurt because of me.

“Some stupid movie doesn’t define you, Penny.”

“I’m not saying it does.” My breathing was growing uneven. I should have been backtracking, going back to make-believe, but I couldn’t stop myself. “And I’m not even talking about the movie. I mean all of this.” I gestured to the enormous living room. “This isn’t me. I like simple things. Homey things.”

“I know. It’s one of the many reasons why I love you.”

“Then why do we live here? What happened to me to make me say all of this was okay?”

He ran his fingers through his hair, and I had the oddest sensation that if he hadn’t, his fist would have gone through one of the walls.

“You fell in love with me,” he said. “We fell in love. And we made all these decisions together. You love it here. All our family and friends are here.”

“Oh, my parents live in New York?” I couldn’t imagine them leaving their jobs in Wilmington. They loved them. How strange.

“I meant everyone besides your parents.”

“I see.” This conversation was pointless. I never should have started it. “I think what you meant was that your family and friends are here. Not mine.”

“They're yours too.”

I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to throw all the stupid decorative pillows off the couch. But I heard my doctor’s voice in the back of my head. I was supposed to play along. Would me agreeing with James take away the worry line on his forehead? Would it really make everything smoother? Because it didn’t feel like it would for me. I took a deep breath. Pretending made it easier for everyone but me.

“Penny.” He stepped closer to me. Too close. His cologne was polluting my air supply.

“It’s fine,” I said. “I’m sorry I freaked out. I don’t have any of my own friends. Got it. What about Melissa, though? Did we lose touch?” The thought made me want to cry. I had been holding out hope to talk to her. It felt like she was the only one that could help me.

“Baby, my friends are your friends. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Honestly, they probably like you more than they like me.”

Did he expect me to laugh at that? “Awesome.” I tried to keep my voice light and upbeat.

It just made him sigh. “And you and Melissa are still friends. She was planning on coming to town when the…” his voice trailed off. “I mean, she’ll be here tomorrow. It was the earliest she could get off work.”

“Melissa’s coming?” I didn’t even have to pretend to be excited at that news. “That’s wonderful. She’ll stay with us, right?”

“We usually offer to put guests up in that the hotel down the street while they visit.”

“Why? This place seems big enough. Don’t we have any guest rooms?”

“Two actually. But we prefer our privacy.”

“Privacy for what? I’ll text her and let her know she can stay here.” I looked down at my shoulder and realized I didn’t have a backpack. Or a purse. Or any of my things. I turned in a circle. “Where’s my phone?”

“I want to be able to focus on just us for a little bit. I want to try to get you used to our lives. Together.”

Was he keeping me hostage here? I thought about how he said I couldn’t go for a run earlier. How he wouldn’t let anyone stay here with us. How he had taken away my phone. I stared at him. There were a lot of red flags. But what could it hurt to let this weird fantasy play out? Maybe if I let it, I’d be able to wake up. I’d be able to go back to a time where I didn’t know this man. “Okay.”

He lowered both his eyebrows as he stared at me.

The action made me swallow hard. I wasn’t sure I had ever seen anything so sexy in my entire life.

“Okay?” he asked. “That’s it? I’m used to you putting up a little more of a fight.”

I laughed. Finally something that sounded like me. “Sure. So what exactly did you want to do in this huge apartment all alone?”

This time he was the one that swallowed hard. I could tell because I had the pleasure of watching his Adam’s apple rise and fall. Maybe I was wrong before, because this was the new sexiest thing I had ever seen.

---