Page 23 of The Light to My Darkness (The Light to My Darkness 1)

"James..."

"And I do not, for one second, wish anything had gone any differently. But I can't pretend that I'm not..." his voice trailed off, like he was searching for the right word.

"Scared?" I stared into his eyes. James always had trouble admitting his weaknesses. I knew how hard that was. How vulnerable he felt.

He nodded. "I'm utterly terrified."

"I'm scared too. And I'm sorry I freaked out. I just can't believe you said you wished we never got pregnant."

"I never said that." He shook his head. "I said if we had known, we probably would have done things differently. But we didn't know. And now this baby is a part of our lives. I don't regret that. I'm sorry if I ma

de you feel any differently. I was upset, but I do love this baby. I love every piece of you." He put his hand on my stomach. "And now I feel like I need to ask our baby for forgiveness too."

He pushed the sheets off of me and put both his hands on my stomach. "Hey, beautiful girl," he whispered.

"Boy."

James looked up at me. "I'm trying to have a private conversation."

I smiled. "By all means, please continue."

"Hey, beautiful girl," he said again.

I shook my head and stared down at the side of his face.

"I love you," he whispered. "With all my heart. I know you already know that." He kissed my belly. "But I need to ask you a favor. Please calm down with the kicking. You're hurting your mother."

I laughed.

James kissed my stomach again. "I can't wait to meet you," he said and ran his hand across my stomach. He looked up at me again. "Do you forgive me?"

"I'd already forgiven you." I reached down and ran my fingers along the scruff on his jaw line. "Do you forgive me?"

"I was never upset with you. Maybe I'll be a little upset if you really do force me to sleep on the couch though. May I come to bed now?"

I patted the bed beside me. He climbed up and wrapped his arm around me.

"She's the best thing we ever did." He reached behind me and pushed a strand of Scarlett's hair off her face.

"Yes. She is. And just think." My eyes wandered back up to his face. "If I had been a second earlier to that door in the coffee shop, you never would have run into me. We never would have started dating. We never would have had that beautiful little girl. Everything happens for a reason, James. And we're going to get through whatever happens next together. I promise."

Something flashed across his eyes. Pain maybe. It was too fast for me to be able to read him.

"I told you I didn't want to change a thing," he said. He put his hand on the side of my face and took a deep breath, like he was breathing me in. "But if you think me hitting you with that door was our only chance at starting this, you're crazy." A playful smile formed on his face. "I thought you were a believer in fate?"

"That doesn't mean I don't realize how lucky we are."

"Hmm." He shifted even closer to me. "Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be this lucky."

Chapter 9

Sunday

"Mommy."

A little finger repeatedly jabbing me in the side made me open my eyes.

"Mommy," Scarlett said and continued to poke me.

---