Page 115 of The Light to My Darkness (The Light to My Darkness 1)

"We'll see her tomorrow, okay?" Tomorrow I'd be stronger. Tomorrow I'd sit with my wife. I'd hold her hand and will her to come back to us. I'd promise to be better.

"Can we at least hold baby before we go?"

I needed to do it. What if he died in the middle of the night? I'd regret not holding him my whole life. "Okay, let's go say goodnight to your brother."

"I thought I was getting a sister. But I like him."

"You and me both."

She ducked her head under my chin as if she was frightened again. I turned around to see Dr. Nelson staring at us. I waved before pushing through the doors.

Chapter 41

Monday

"She's good with him," Daphne said as she stepped up beside me at the window.

I stared at Scarlett gently holding my son in her arms. She was being careful not to touch any of the cords that helped him live. The nurse from earlier was helping her properly distribute the weight.

"I thought she might be jealous," I said. Or maybe I had been worried I would be. When Scarlett was born, I had been apprehensive. I liked having Penny's attention all to myself. But the transition with Scarlett was effortless. We both loved her. At least, I thought Penny loved her.

"James," Daphne said and waited until I turned to her. "It's not true."

"What?"

"Everything the doctor said. I know it isn't true. Penny would never try to kill herself."

"She wrote me a letter and wanted to add it to her will this morning. My lawyer brought up the possibility of suicide with only that information. And the doctor brought it up with just the poison. He didn't even know about the letter." I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to her.

She quickly scanned the note. "James, she was scared because of her heart murmur. She wrote this in fear. Not in decisiveness."

"Daphne, there were exterminators at our house this morning. She had access to poison."

"I don't care about the poison. Or some letter." She put it back in my hands. "James, she didn't do this."

"That's what I thought at first too, but, Daphne, everything is pointing to that fact. How can you be so sure that she didn't want to die?" I truly wanted to know. Because I no longer knew what to believe. I loved my wife fiercely. And I was having trouble understanding why she didn't love me the same way.

"Because I know what it looks like. I know the signs. My brother..." she paused, her bottom lip trembling. "I beat myself up for not seeing that. But I know the signs now. And Penny was not depressed. She couldn't wait to give birth to her son. She couldn't wait for you to come back from London. She was fighting the news about her heart condition with strength, not fear. She was full of life and laughter and..."

"She thought I cheated on her, okay? Is that what you need to hear? She thought I didn't love her." I was raising my voice.

Daphne grabbed my hand. "Rob was with her when she thought that. There was no lapse of time where she could have ran off and guzzled poison, James. Your lawyer is wrong. The doctors are wrong. Everyone is just...wrong."

"But what if they're not?"

She shook her head. "What if they are? James, I know Penny. We share everything. She's my best friend. And she would never, ever do this. We both feel so lucky in our relationships. Not repressed or scared or upset. Lucky. She would never willingly leave this world. And you know that. I know you do."

I blinked away my tears.

"You know that." She squeezed my hand.

"Can you ask Rob to look into it? I'm tired and..."

"Drunk."

I stared at her. "I had a few drinks. I'm not drunk."

"You can go home and sleep it off. After you meet your son."

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