Page 113 of The Light to My Darkness (The Light to My Darkness 1)

They all knew.

There was no running from this. I sat down in an empty seat and closed my eyes. I was going to follow Penny's instructions. I was going to be a good father. And that meant waiting here for a few minutes so I could talk to her OB-GYN. To find out what was wrong with my son.

"The night of Bee's wedding I found her crying outside her hotel room," Tyler said.

I opened my eyes and looked up at Tyler.

He sat down next to me. "I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I should have pressed it. I should have..."

"Stop."

Tyler shook his head and looked up at the ceiling. "I didn't know that she was struggling. I just thought she missed you. I should have..." his voice trailed off but he kept staring at the ceiling. "I thought I could read her. But this? Why the hell would she do this?"

I didn't have anything to say.

"Look, I know the only reason we became friends was through Penny," said Tyler. "But you need to know that I think of you as a brother. I love your daughter like she's my own. If you need anything..."

"I just need her to wake up." My back stiffened when he hugged me.

I was pretty sure the only physical contact Tyler and I had ever had were handshakes and fists to the face. I awkwardly patted his back in return and then pulled away.

"Do you want me to take Scar for the night?" he asked. "I'm sure Axel would be able to help calm her down."

"No. I'm going to take her home in a few minutes. I'm just waiting to talk to the OB-GYN."

Tyler nodded. "I should get home too. Hailey still doesn't know. I can't believe this happened."

He stood up. I had nothing left to say. I couldn't believe it either. I watched him walk out of the waiting room. And a part of me wondered if he felt lucky. That he hadn't won Penny over. That he ended up with Hails instead. Hails was always smiling. Hails was still breathing on her own. Hails was still happy.

Dr. Nelson walked into the waiting room. His lips were pressed together, like he was dreading this conversation. "James," he said as he approached me and stuck out his hand.

I stood up and shook it. "My father told me that the baby already had a blood transfusion. Is he doing alright now?"

"Can we sit down?" he asked and nodded down at the chairs.

"Of course."

"It's been a long day for both of us." He sighed and sat down next to me. "We'll probably need to do another blood transfusion. It's common for preemies to have anemia. It's nothing to be too alarmed about. And his lungs are well developed for his size. We should be able to take him off the CPAP in several weeks."

"Several weeks? How long will he need to be in there?"

"It's standard to keep preemies in the NICU until their original due date. So about two months."

"Two months?" I hadn't realized how bad the situation really was. I thought I'd be taking him home soon. Alone. "Is there a possibility that he won't make it?"

"I'm not really a man of chance, James. I practice precision in everything I do."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Eighty percent of babies born at 26 weeks live. The greater question is will he have a learning or developmental impairment. Because even though he will most likely live, eighty percent of the babies that do will have some sort developmental or physical problem in their lives."

I was familiar with the 80-20 principle in business. But I didn't like those odds for my son. That meant there was only a sixteen percent chance that he'd be healthy. Normal. Fuck.

"Even though we never want to see babies at 26 weeks out of the womb, he is technically a healthy weight for his size. So, that's a good sign. But with all the blood loss that Penny suffered, along with the poison she consumed, it does put your son at greater risks for more severe problems."

My dad hadn't mentioned any of this. Had Dr. Nelson told him? Or was he just adding more weight to my shoulders? "You said you're not a man of chance. So tell me. Do you think he'll be able to have a normal life?"

"No. I strongly doubt that he will."

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