Page 12 of The Light to My Darkness (The Light to My Darkness 1)

"What's resized?" Scarlett asked with her mouth full of ice cream.

"It's when you grow, pumpkin," James said.

"I'm resized too, Daddy. I used to be like that." She poked my stomach. "Right? Before the stork stole me?"

I pressed my lips together to prevent myself from laughing. We'd had a brief conversation with Scarlett about where babies came from. But we hadn't exactly talked about what to say beforehand. She had asked so many questions that we weren't prepared for. Unfortunately, it ended up sounding like storks came in the middle of the night and stole babies and then eventually returned them when they were finished baking. Or something along those lines. I hoped we hadn't done too much damage.

"He'll probably come soon to take the baby," Scarlett said. "Draw the stork stealing the baby panda and putting it in the oven." She placed a neon pink crayon on my piece of paper. "What happens if the baby bakes too long? Does it become a grown-up?"

James stifled a laugh.

I looked up at him. His eyes danced with so much warmth. God, we really had messed up our story. What if Scarlett went her whole life thinking that was how babies were born?

"There's a timer that lets you know when the baby is done," James said. "You know what, I'd like to draw the oven."

"Okay." Scarlett put a purple crayon and a piece of paper on his lap. "But what if the stork is in the bathroom when the timer goes off?"

"Then another stork will get the baby."

She paused in her drawing of the green pandas. Her eyes got really round. "How many storks are there, Daddy?"

"Not that many. Just a couple for each baby." He ruffled her hair.

I put my chin in my hand as I watched James fumbling for the right words for this crazy story. For the first time, I realized that he hadn't brought in my computer. I felt this small feeling of relief. I wasn't sure if I was ready for him to read my book yet. I wasn't sure it would ever be ready for his eyes. What if he hated how I portrayed him? What if he didn't want me to get it published?

I looked down at James' terrible drawing of an oven, one that was apparently going to cook our baby. Maybe my book needed some more imagination. I took a bite of chocolaty waffle goodness. What it needed was some help from Scarlett. I shook my head at the thought. My beautiful sweet girl would never be allowed to read my books. I lifted up my crayon and started to draw a neon pink stork. And I started to wonder if maybe one day I'd be writing about this moment. My life was no longer filled with illicit scandals or excitement at every turn. But it certainly seemed perfect from where I was sitting.

Chapter 6

Saturday

"You sure you're up to this?" James asked as he finished cutting up the celery sticks.

"Yes. Besides, they'll be arriving any minute. It's too late to cancel now." I grabbed a celery stick and dipped it into the hummus.

"A bunch of little kids running around our house all night isn't exactly relaxing," he said and slid the bowl closer to me.

"But talking to our friends is definitely relaxing." I slowly finished chewing. "So...do they all know?"

"I told Rob, Mason, and Matt. And I guess Mason told Bee. Rob may have told Daphne, but I really don't know. I asked them not to tell anyone. I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay. I just wanted to know ahead of time in case everyone's acting weird around me. Rob is actually really good at keeping secrets though. Daphne probably doesn't know."

"I don't know about that. When we were little, Rob always tattled on me whenever I fucked up."

I laughed. "That was sibling rivalry or something. It had nothing to do with his ability to keep a secret. Besides, he said he accidentally saw the sex of our baby at that appointment you couldn't come to. And he hasn't told us."

James laughed. "He was probably lying about seeing it. And if he did see it, it wasn't by accident. He was most likely snooping. But it was better that he was doing that than staring at you during your exam."

I swatted James' arm. "It was sweet of him to offer to come with me. I was all nervous that day because I had never been to an appointment without you. And our baby had just started kicking me like a little monster." I put my hand on my stomach. "I thought something might be wrong."

"Something was wrong. You had a heart murmur and no one was competent enough to catch it. If you ask me, they should have discovered it a long time ago. We should probably switch doctors."

"Dr. Nelson is a well respected OB-GYN. He's not a cardiologist. We're lucky that he did find my heart murmur. And I'm used to him now. I don't want another doctor."

James shrugged.

"I'm serious, James. If the doctor that delivered Scarlett hadn't retired, I'd still be going to him. But at this stage there isn't anyone else I'd consider seeing. You know how bad I am at change."

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