Page 100 of The Light to My Darkness (The Light to My Darkness 1)

"Robert," my dad said sternly. "That's enough."

She can't be dead. I shook my head. I put my hand on the side of my face where my eye wouldn't stop twitching. It felt like my feet were melting into the floor.

"Where were you, James?" Rob said as he abruptly stood up. He walked toward me. "You piece of shit!" He shoved me hard.

"Robert!" my dad said more sternly and grabbed the back of Rob's collar. "Sit down." He pushed him away from me.

"Rob," Daphne said and grabbed his arm. "This isn't the time or place for this."

But Rob was right. He should shove me. I had nothing to say. I felt like shit. I let Penny down. "She can't be dead." I shook my head. "She can't be." I shook my head again. I wanted Rob to shove me again. I wanted him to hit me. I needed to feel the pain. I clenched my hand into a fist. I needed to feel the pain she was feeling.

My dad grabbed my arm and pulled me to the front desk. "Her husband is here now. Can't you give updates to him?"

The nurse looked up at us. "She's in surgery. As soon as she's out, a doctor will come to talk to you. It shouldn't be much longer."

"I need to talk to someone now," I said.

"I'm sorry, sir, that's just not possible."

I glanced to my right where there was a door marked hospital personnel only. I started walking toward it.

"Sir!" she called after me. "Sir, you can't go back there!"

I pushed open the doors, ignoring her. "Penny!" I called at the top of my lungs. "Penny!" It felt like I couldn't breathe.

An orderly rushed out of a door down the hall. "You're not allowed in here," he said as he hurried toward me.

"Penny!" I yelled again. I turned my head toward one of the glass partitions. Not her. I kept walking.

"You really can't be back here," the orderly said and grabbed my shoulder.

I pushed him off of me.

"Penny!" The desperation in my voice made me feel crazy. Was I losing my mind? Was any of this really happening?

The orderly tugged on my arm and I shoved him again.

I needed to find her. I needed to see that she was okay.

"We need security up here," he said into a walkie talkie. "Now."

And that's when I saw her. I was looking through a glass, like I was watching something that couldn't possibly be happening. Her face was pale. There was a tube down her throat. She no longer looked like my wife. She looked empty. Like a shell of who she once was. I put my hand against the glass partition. "Baby." And a piece of me died.

Chapter 35

Monday

"Get off of me!" I yelled as the security guards pulled me back through the doors. "She needs me! My wife needs me." I tried to fight them off.

"Daddy!"

I stopped fighting when I saw my daughter running toward me. And I fell to my knees. Because the sight of her pained me. Her mouth. Her nose. Her hair. They weren't hers. They were her mother's. She was a living, breathing mini-replica of my wife. I closed my eyes as she launched herself into my arms. I tried to hold back my tears.

"Daddy, the snake came. You weren't here, and the snake came for Mommy."

She didn't understand what was happening. But she was right about one thing. This was all my fault.

"Daddy, is Mommy okay?" she asked.

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