Page 55 of Crazy In Love (Secrets of Suburbi 3)

The brownies were still sitting there. But Noah was nowhere in sight. "Ugh. Why is he being such a turd face tonight? Is it something I did? Don't answer that. I know I kidnapped him and tried to starve him and made him poop in a litter box and all that nonsense. But geez...that was hours ago. You'd think he'd get over it by now. Am I right?"

Snuggle Muffins didn't respond.

"You're in a mood. Do your jumping jacks and stop complaining. We're on a stakeout. Sometimes those take longer than one might think. Can you please be patient for me, little dude?"

This time when he didn't respond, I lowered my binoculars. "Snuggle Muffins?" I turned in a circle. But Snuggle Muffins had disappeared. "Snuggle Muffins!" I screamed. No. I turned in another circle. No. Where was he? "Snuggle Muffins!" Didn't he know that I needed him? He couldn't leave me too.

I can't breathe. I dropped the binoculars onto the ground and touched my throat. I tried to call for him again, but I couldn't catch my breath.

I started running through the woods, gasping for air that didn't seem to reach my lungs. Come back to me. Please don't leave. "I won't make you do any more jumping jacks. And you don't have to pee in a box." I stumbled through the woods, not caring about the small branches scratching against my skin.

I needed him. Why would he leave me? Why did everyone leave me? "Snuggle Muffins," I gasped. I needed to try to calm down. I was vaguely aware of how cold my tears were as they fell down my cheeks. "Snuggle Muffins." I put my hand on a nearby tree and leaned over. Breathe in. Breathe out. "Snuggle Muffins!" I called a little louder. Breathe in. Breathe out.

I thought about how Noah hadn't come out to get the brownies. What if he wasn't there? What if he was never there? What if I'd made the whole thing up?

I shut my eyes tight. What if Snuggle Muffins didn't exist either? I wiped the tears off my cheeks. I didn't want him to be a dream like the blood. "Snuggle Muffins," I cried. "I'll be a better mommy! I promise. I promise. I'm going to buy you a coat. And I'll let you sleep in bed with me every night, not just once." But he already knew all that.

I opened my eyes. There was no evidence that he'd ever been here. I'm losing my mind. Ever since I'd kidnapped Noah, I’d felt it. My sanity slowly slipping away. I pushed him down those stairs. No. No, no, no. "I'm not a monster. He slipped! Snuggle Muffins, please. I'm not a monster. I'd never hurt you." He was all I had left.

And then I heard him bark.

I turned around. It sounded like it was coming from the direction of my house. "Snuggle Muffins?" He barked again and I felt a little more certain of his whereabouts as I ran toward the noise. "Snuggle Muffins!"

I ran out of the woods and into my back yard. Snuggle Muffins was jumping around trying to attack the snowflakes falling from the sky.

"Bad dog."

He froze and looked up at me. And then his tongue lolled out of the side of his mouth.

"Did you just stick your tongue out at me? You're a very bad dog." I collapsed into the snow beside him. "You know I don't mean it. But don't scare me like that ever again. Do you hear me?" I squeezed him against my chest. "You can't leave me too. Promise me." I held him closer.

And the little demon licked the side of my face. I almos

t threw him off me, but as the snow fell around me, I found myself not caring that he was gross. I looked down at his cute little face. Oh, no. I'm a dog person. Ew. I cringed. But then I shook my head as I stared at the little bundle of fur in my arms. "I'm not a dog person. But I am a Snuggle Muffins person. So don't leave me."

His face morphed into a distorted smile.

"I'm high."

He barked.

And then I laughed. "We're so high!" I let him go so he could chase snowflakes again. And then I collapsed backward and started making snow angels. I rolled around the back yard making snow angel after snow angel until Snuggle Muffins and I were both equally covered in snow.

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," I sung.

"Is everything okay back there?"

Sally was peering over the fence at me. At least, I think it was Sally. Her face resembled a snake. I squinted at her. Maybe she was just dressed up for fun. Old people were into kinky things too, right? "We're great," I said. I smiled but it felt weird, like my lips were stretched out to my ears. I touched my lips. They went all the way around my whole head. I'm growing.

"Oh. I see," Sally said. She turned to look at my house.

My eyes followed her gaze. And I didn't need my binoculars to see clearly into the kitchen window from this distance. Noah was standing at the kitchen island shoving his face with brownies. It looked like he was eating them with a shovel. Who eats brownie with a shovel? I needed to give him a fork.

"Hmm," Sally the snake hissed. "Looks like everything is okay here. I'll let you guys be."

I turned back to her. And then back toward the window. If I could see Noah, that meant snake Sally could see Noah too. "Oh fuck."

"Language, dear."

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