Page 31 of Crazy In Love (Secrets of Suburbi 3)

"Please," he said. "Stay."

But in the past few days I'd had another second chance too. Another chance at living my life. I'd proved to myself that I wasn't nothing without him. I didn't need a him. Not anymore. And besides, I already knew his fucking story.

I walked back over to him. For a second I just stared down at him. But just for a second. I pulled the gag back in place and turned away. "Goodnight, Noah."

Chapter 12

Saturday

For the second night in a row, I couldn't fall asleep. I stared at the ceiling instead of trying to count sheep. I'm single and loving it. I'm single and loving it. I'm single and loving it. I kept repeating the mantra over and over again in my head. But I couldn't convince my head wh

en I knew it wasn't true. All I wanted to do was run back downstairs to Noah. To straddle him. To untie him and see what sinful things he wanted to do to my body.

I glanced over at the empty spot in the bed beside me. It was still perfectly made. Maybe I wasn't scared of the darkness swallowing me whole. My fingers traced the spot where my husband always slept. Maybe I just didn't know how to sleep without him next to me. Noah's spot felt so cold and empty. Especially since I could so easily fill it back up. He'd asked to be tied to my bed instead of a chair. I could switch things up...Stop.

A part of me wanted to go into the basement. I could grab a few pillows and my comforter and make a pretty comfortable nest beside him. Would that help me fall asleep? Just being that close to him? Smelling his cologne? Hearing his light snores? Knowing that I wasn't alone?

I'd walked away from him for a reason tonight. I could have taken things further. But I was trying to get a fresh start. Not stumble right back into his lap. Literally.

But the bed was so cold without him.

Snuggle Muffins whimpered.

I leaned over the edge of the bed and stared down at him.

He was sitting at the base of my bed, staring back.

"Go to your dog bed." I pointed to where I'd put it in the corner.

He didn't move.

"I'm not making you sleep in the garage. I've already given in and let you inside. And up to my room. We're already breaking the rules. What else do you want?"

Snuggle Muffins lifted up his paw and touched the side of my bed.

"No," I said. "Absolutely 100 percent not, Snuggle Muffins. You're a dirty little monster and you can't come up here."

He sighed.

I looked over my shoulder at the empty spot in the bed. Maybe having Snuggle Muffins up here would help prevent me from sneaking down into the basement. Because my body really really wanted to be next to Noah. At this rate I'd probably sleepwalk down there if I didn't fill this empty spot. "Fine. Just this once." I leaned down and lifted him up on the bed.

He immediately snuggled into my side. He was really living up to his namesake. Yes, his eyes were blue which made the name Blue suitable. But he was also quite the little snuggler.

Silly dog. "Don't get used to this,” I said and patted his head. “I'm serious."

Snuggle Muffins rested his head on my shoulder and closed his blue eyes.

We both knew that I'd said "just this once" about a billion times today. There was no conviction in my words. He knew it and so did I. And we both knew he'd be sleeping beside me from here on out. He easily filled the spot of my dear husband who could die tied to that chair for all I cared. He'd lied just to get in my pants. There was nothing worse than that. Oh, wait. There was also the fact that he cheated on me. More than once. And he stole all my money. Those things were worse than the lying to get in my pants. God, I hated him.

I scratched behind Snuggle Muffins’ ear. Petting him soothed me for some reason. He was so soft. And warm. And dirty. Was I supposed to bathe him or something?

I moved my hand away from him and just stared. The worst part about Snuggle Muffins was that I actually liked him. I liked his stupid little face and his stupid little sighs. And his stupid knowing stare. Even his stupid fuzzy fur. He was crawling under my skin, nestling in right by my heart. The next thing I knew he'd probably be sleeping with my neighbor and stealing all my money. I turned away from him and stared at the wall. I didn't want to be second best anymore. Especially not to the dog that I didn't even want.

***

There was something wet on my hands. Wet and...sticky. And warm. Ew. I moved my hand through the thick substance, and my fingers touched something soft. And I had this horrible image of blood. A chill ran down my spine. Blood pouring from Noah's head when he fell down the basement stairs. All I could see was red. Seeping into the wooden steps. Seeping into his hair. Trailing into his lifeless, unblinking eyes. Covering my hands. I stifled a scream.

But that hadn't happened.

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