Page 78 of Sweet Like a Psycho (Secrets of Suburbi 2)

I thought I saw a flash of red under the frozen surface. My mother had been wearing red the last time I saw her. I took another step onto the ice.

What if I had imagined the whole thing? What if she was still alive? I took another step. I wanted out of this nightmare. I wanted to be able to breathe again.

There was a noise behind me, but I ignored it. I had

seen her. Another step. She was trying to get out. I could still save her.

“Violet!”

Hearing my name made me freeze. What was I doing? I looked down at the ice under my feet. Why was I out here?

“Violet.”

My mother hadn’t even been wearing red the last time I’d seen her. Her shirt had been white. Perfectly pristine. Until it wasn’t. My heart started racing. It was easier when I blocked it out.

“Violet I’m here for that talk. Please get off the ice. I want to talk to you.”

I turned around to see Tucker standing at the edge of the lake. He was looking at me like I was crazy. Was I crazy?

“How long have you been out here?” he asked. “Let’s go inside. It’s freezing.”

I looked down at the coat, hat, and gloves that were still in my hands. I’d never put them on. How long had I been out here? I needed to get everything off my chest. I couldn’t breathe. “I need you to promise me you’ll believe me. I need you to promise.”

“Just come over here first,” he said.

His words made me see red again. “I don’t like being told what to do.”

“Okay.” He held up his hands. “Okay. I promise I’ll believe you. But it’s barely below freezing, Vi. The ice is thin. It’s dangerous. Please come talk to me over here.”

I shook my head. This is where I belonged. Tucker had come too soon for me to figure out a backup plan. This was the only choice I had. I’d know what it felt to be them. I’d always known this would be my final resting place too. “I lied to you.” God, it felt so good to say. I lied! I wanted to scream it.

“That’s okay.” He took a step forward like he was about to get on the ice too, but he stopped.

“It’s not okay.”

“It is. Look, I lied to you too. We’re even. Please just get off the ice.”

“We’re not even.”

“We are, Vi. I lied too. I went to your childhood home. I saw the way the floor was scuffed up in front of your bedroom door. You used to look out your window at the woods right? You dreamed of escaping? Being out here feels safe?”

I shook my head. I didn’t know what he was talking about. No one was safe out here. I certainly had never been.

“The only escape is death?” Tucker was staring at me like his words should have meant something.

I shook my head again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I saw the floorboard where you were counting down the days. You etched into the wood that the only escape was death. But that’s not the answer. Coming out here isn’t the answer. Just talk to me. I can help you.”

I was trying to make sense of what he was saying. “My bedroom was in the front of the house. It overlooked the street.”

He lowered his eyebrows slightly.

“The guest bedroom overlooked the backyard. My mom would stay in that room when she was bad.”

“Bad?”

I felt nauseous. This was my chance. I could come clean about everything. I had his undivided attention. But I still didn’t know if I could trust him. Luckily a backup plan was finally forming in my head. “There’s exceptions to every rule, right? Like just because you believe something doesn’t mean there aren’t situations in which you’d change your mind?” I needed to be able to change his mind. I had to. I’d already lost so much. I didn’t want to lose him too.

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