Page 47 of The Truth in My Lies (Secrets of Suburbi 1)

He crouched down beside me. “If I come home this weekend and find you in the same condition I did today, then I’m going to have no choice.”

“I’ll take the pills. I promise.”

“Good girl.” He leaned forward and brushed a strand of hair out of my face, completely ignoring my tears. “Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

There was no question in his sentence. But I shook my head anyway.

“Dr. Nash suggested someone coming and checking in on you once a day. Until my schedule eases up.”

He was talking about being home more again. Just the thought made it feel like my heart stopped beating. “I don’t need someone to check on me. I had a bad day is all. I missed you. This house feels small without you here.” Claustrophobia was apparently one of my issues. I could play that up.

He nodded. “Only one more day apart until this weekend, babe.” His fingers wandered over my neck, landing on my injured shoulder. “Try not to hurt yourself while I’m gone.”

You’re the one that hurt me. He was so obviously the crazy one in our relationship. I just wished I didn’t feed off of his insanity. Instead of fighting, I nodded my head.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. It took every ounce of re

straint I possessed not to bite him. I imagined it was Ben. I imagined the smell of grass and the taste of lust. And when he pulled away and his face came back into focus, I had this horrible fear. What if I had made up the box? What if I had made up my hurt shoulder? What if I had made up Ben?

My heart rate accelerated. Paranoia. I did have it. But it was because of the medicine. Right? The thought of Ben not being real made me want to cry.

My husband cupped my face in his hand. “I wish I could stay. I wish I could be here to take care of you. And help you get better.”

I nodded, despite the fact that I loathed the idea and didn’t need a lick of his help. My eyelid twitched. I needed to find that box. I needed to go to Ben. I needed to throw up. My mind was consumed and the man in front of me blurred away.

The sound of the front door closing pulled me out of my trance. He was gone. I stood up on wobbly legs and started running for the stairs.

My sprained ankle. My shoulder. The pain still emanating from my neck. Nothing could stop me from getting to that box. I had been taking pictures of the injuries he had given me. We had no pictures of us hanging in the house. No lies in images. But I had the truth in a whole shoebox of images.

I threw myself onto my hands and knees at the base of my bed. No. There wasn’t a single thing under our bed. Not a loose sock or a dust bunny, let alone a box. No. I pushed myself away from the bed. No!

I buried my face in my hands. I had lost all control of my body. It heaved up and down as I cried harder than I ever had. I touched my neck where it still felt like his hands were. I knew I had lost my freedom. I had no choice but to give it up to him. But when had this happened? When had I lost my mind too?

Chapter 24

I had scoured my house just like I had Ben’s. Every single drawer. Every single inch of closet space. Twice. Because the first time my vision was blurred with tears. The second look further proved what I had feared. There was no box. There was no evidence of his abuse. Just my own memories. And who would believe the words of a lunatic?

I was terrified to turn my phone back on. As soon as I did, I’d know if Ben was real. He would have texted me. We had such a lovely evening together. And then I left so suddenly. He’d be worried. Right?

Every minute that passed made me feel like I was slipping away. And maybe I was. I had been staring at the basement door for over half an hour. My body was paralyzed. My eyes stuck on the bolted lock.

I wasn’t scared to go into Ben’s basement. If anything, I had been so eager that I had almost ruined my relationship with him. Hell, maybe I had. Maybe he had seen the scratch marks on the knob. Or my broken bobby pin on the stairs. Or maybe none of that had even happened. That thought was the most horrifying.

But my basement? I wanted nothing to do with it. Basements were for intruders and items of the past. I was scared of both. Despite what I had said to Dr. Nash, I wasn’t over my past. I wasn’t over that night. How could I be? Every mistake I had made in my life had led me to this moment. And this moment was hell.

Unlock the door. I lifted my hand up to the lock. I cringed when my fingers touched the metal. I pulled my hand down. Today had been bad enough. Why did I want to make it worse? The box wouldn’t be down there. Because the box didn’t exist. I folded my arms across my chest and stepped back.

I needed sleep. I needed…I didn’t know what I needed. No, that wasn’t true. What I needed was Ben. The thought made me want to cry again. I cared way more about Ben than I did about the box. And that was terrifying too. I barely knew him. Why did I care so much? He couldn’t help me out of this mess. Continuing our relationship would only make it worse.

But that didn’t stop me from walking back to the kitchen and picking up my phone. It was as difficult as unlocking the basement door. I forced my thumb down on the power button.

Please be real. God, please. It felt like my whole body was pulsing. My heartbeat was everywhere. In my ears. In my throat.

The screen turned on. And…nothing. I blinked. Dr. Nash was right about everything. Every. Single. Thing. I would have started crying again, but I didn’t think it was possible. The medicine had taken full effect. It was hard to cry when I was numb.

So instead, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed until my throat ached.

And I threw my phone against the stupid white wall. It made a cracking noise and fell to the floor. I screamed again and choked on the noise. My next scream sounded like a wounded animal. That’s what my husband had turned me into. An animal. He had stolen everything from me. I opened my mouth to scream again but only made the tiniest peep.

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