Page 9 of The Truth in My Lies (Secrets of Suburbi 1)

"My friends call me Addy." A lie. I no longer had any friends. And when I was little, my mother forced me to go by Adeline. She said I'd never get ahead with a name like Addy and that she had given me the elegant name for a reason. And that reason wasn't to chop it in half.

"Addy, then, it was never my intention to make you feel old. Or demean you in any way."

“Then what was your intention? To get me drunk? And then what?”

I watched his Adam’s apple rise and then fall. That wasn’t in my head. It was an actual reaction to my words. He liked me too. Maybe we could still pop a few buttons.

“What do you think?” he asked.

He was saying all the right things. He was almost too kind. Too perfect. Especially for a twenty three year old male. He should have been out with his friends smoking reefer, not starting his own landscaping business. He looked young, but he acted mature. And I couldn't help but wonder how mature he'd be in the bedroom. Would he care about my needs? Or would he just get off as soon as possible? What am I doing?

He's twenty three. He's not going to seduce you, you old hag.

I drank too much. And my libido was on too high of an alert. It was safer to go home, lock the door, and pretend this never happened. "I think that maybe it might be best if you could take me home?" Just because he knew where I lived, it didn't mean he'd stalk me. I was the stalker in this equation.

His smiled faded.

The expression made my chest ache. How could I already love his smiles so much?

"Yeah, of course. But what about your friend? I thought you wanted to wait for her?"

"She was still in the waiting room. She was going to be forever."

His smile faded even more.

He thinks you don't want to sit here with him. How wrong he was. This was the highlight of my month. My year. The past decade.

"Let me grab those crutches for you then."

"Oh, no need. I'll just stay off my feet until it's better."

He laughed as he stood up. "Don't be ridiculous." He wandered out into the hall and came back a few moments later carrying a pair of crutches. He was really helping himself to these people's possessions. I watched as he adjusted the height of them, lowering them to a position he thought would fit me.

Without asking permission, his hands were back on me, pulling me to my feet, arousing me.

Don't let me go. Don't send me back to my solitude. A horrible realization had just settled around me. I was hurt. I couldn't run next Thursday. And fall was ending soon. There wouldn't be any reason for him to mow this lawn in the coming weeks. When would I see him next? The panic was rising in my chest. How was I supposed to breathe without Thursdays?

Once the realization hit, everything sped up. Before I even realized it, he was pulling his truck into my driveway. No. I couldn't imagine leaving his truck. It smelled like him with a hint of more grass in the air. I was obsessed with the smell. Just as obsessed as I was with him.

He cut the engine.

My breath hitched. He couldn't come in. Why did he stop the truck? What was he doing? My mind was at war with itself. Come in. I wanted to beg him. I wanted to get down on my hands and knees and beg him to stay. It felt like I was seconds away from bursting into tears. The war in my mind was too intense. Especially when the choice was so obvious.

"If you want, I can swing by tomorrow or something?" he said. "I'll bring you lunch. It'll be too hard for you to move around."

Please. "That's not necessary..."

"Really, I don't mind. I did put those bags on the curb. It's my fault that you're hurt."

It was your abs' fault. "I'll be okay, Ben." I pushed open the door and managed to somehow climb out of his truck without hurting myself even further. I pulled out the crutches behind me without making eye contact with him.

"Let me at least help you get inside..."

"I'm fine." The words were harsh. Much too harsh. And even more untrue. I'm so sorry. But I needed him to hate me. I needed to make sure he'd never come back. It was for his own safety.

"Addy?"

My whole life, I had so badly wanted someone to call me that. And from his lips? The sound was too sweet. I didn't deserve sweet.

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