Page 54 of The Truth in My Lies (Secrets of Suburbi 1)

I wish he’d stop saying that. I hated when people said they were sorry when they hadn’t done anything wrong. Probably because I was all too quick to say it to my husband when he was the one that needed to apologize.

“I didn’t even really mean to talk about losing my parents. What I’m trying to say…God, you’re going to think I’m crazy.”

“I promise I’m not going to think you’re crazy.”

He would if he knew how I lost the capability of making decisions for my wellbeing. If I told him the story about how I landed myself in a psych ward. But I couldn’t tell him about that day. Because I wasn’t exactly sure when I lost my mind. How could I tell a story I didn’t understand?

I pulled my knees to my chest, letting the ice pack fall from my ankle. “I wanted to get to know him better. I had gotten enchanted by the idea of a knight in shining armor. But I kind of dismissed how important it was to see what was beneath the metal. I had been so swept up in this whirlwind that I realized I didn’t really know the man who saved me.”

I laughed. It sounded sad and weak. Just as vulnerable as I felt. “I started asking him questions. I was curious about the roots of his last name and his ancestry. I wanted to know if he had any other family. I just wanted to know him. I didn’t even mean to pry. And I was changing my last name to his. I wanted to know what I was becoming, if that makes any sense.”

I was rambling. I didn’t want to tell Ben any more than necessary. It would just give him more reason to judge me. “But he wouldn’t talk to me about anything but work. Which was fine. I let it go. But a few weeks later, I got a certified copy of our marriage certificate in the mail. I needed it for my name change. I hadn’t looked at his parts before. I had just signed mine, eager to get on with it. So it was kind of exciting to look through it.

“There were so many inconsistencies in that document. It terrified me. A different date of birth. Even his parents didn’t have the same last name as him. I didn’t think it was odd that his family didn’t protest our elopement. Because his parents were dead and he was an only child. I didn’t have any cousins or anything either. And my mother wasn’t upset that she couldn’t attend. She was just thrilled that I was getting married. But there was something unsettling about the fact that his parents’ last names weren’t Bell.

“So I asked him about it. And he said he was adopted and that no one really knew his birth date and that it was hard for him to talk about. He immediately changed the subject.

“But I couldn’t let it go. I had this nagging feeling that something was wrong. I should have been sympathizing with him. If what he said was true then his whole childhood had vanished, you know? But I never, not even once, believed his story. Nothing was adding up. So I looked up the names of his parents and I found a phone number. I couldn’t not call it. And when I did…a woman answered. I asked to speak to her son and she said he wasn’t home. She said his name, Ben. And I know what you’re thinking…it could be a coincidence. But what are the odds that all three of them would have the same names as my husband and his parents?”

“I don’t know, Addy.” He shifted in his chair. He looked uncomfortable, but he wasn’t staring at me like I was crazy.

“I think pretty slim. So I figured he'd lied to me. About everything. Who he was, the fact that his parents died in a car crash, all of it. So I confronted him and he said he had no idea what I was talking about. He told me the same sad story about his childhood. He was so smooth, like always. And when I tried that number again to prove to him that I wasn’t lying, it was disconnected.

“But I couldn’t let it go. I was obsessed with his lies. And the more questions I asked, the more he started to change. He started throwing my own familial problems back in my face. He became cold and distant and evasive. And then…I guess I started asking one too many questions and he started…punishing me.”

Ben’s posture stiffened. “What do you mean?”

I pointed to the ice pack on my shoulder. I was pretty sure his nostrils flared. But I couldn’t be sure. “His words hurt, but I never expected him to be that way. I stopped asking questions. But he never stops.”

“He’s hurting you?”

I nodded my head.

“Ad

dy, we need to call the police.”

“They won’t listen,” I said with a shrug. “They think I’m crazy.”

“That’s bullshit. If he’s hurting you, we can show them the evidence. I knew you didn’t injure your shoulder falling. I knew it and I didn’t press it. Come on, we’re going down to the police station.” He stood up, like our evening had been decided.

“It’s a waste of time.” I looked out the window. “I’m a clumsy housewife who has a tendency to hurt myself for attention.”

“Addy, I can vouch for you. I’m the eyewitness you need. I can help you. Let’s go down there right now and get him arrested.”

I shook my head. “Ben, there is only one way out.”

“The police…”

“No.” I didn’t want to tell him the real reason why the police wouldn’t listen. That I was crazy. He wouldn’t understand. And I wasn’t ready for him to stop looking at me like he wanted to devour me. Instead of looking at me like I was insane. “I have to kill him.”

So much for that. He was already looking at me like I had lost my mind.

Chapter 27

“If we don’t kill him, he’ll kill us,” I said. “He’ll definitely at least kill you.”

Ben laughed. “Wouldn't it be easier to just divorce the guy?”

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