Page 18 of The Truth in My Lies (Secrets of Suburbi 1)

I slowly opened my eyes. Every time he came back from his business trips, I was always surprised to remember how handsome he was. His dark hair and eyes, his sharp jaw, and his perfectly kissable lips were all breathtaking. It was no wonder I fell for him so hard. I was naïve. I didn’t realize love was a game. I trusted him. I trusted him with everything. And I lost the game. Because I knew better than anyone that it was what was on the inside that counted.

It should have been natural to miss him. He was my husband. I was supposed to be a loving wife, missing him, wanting him. I always counted the minutes until he returned home to me. But it wasn’t because I missed him. It was because I was dreading his return.

I forced the corners of my mouth to turn up. “Oh. You’re back. Welcome home, honey.” Vile. The taste of vomit was back in my throat. I reached out my hand and ran it along his forearm. His dress shirt was stiff. It made me think of the soft fabric of Ben’s t-shirt.

“What are you doing in bed, babe?” His fingers drifted to the side of my neck. I could feel his wedding band against my skin. A sham. It was all a sham. I had lost the game. But for some damn reason it wouldn’t end. I couldn’t make it stop.

I let my hand fall from his arm and gestured to my foot. “I twisted my ankle on my run.”

The look of concern on his face made me want to laugh. “We should probably get you to the doctor.”

“No.” I kept my voice even. No more doctors. No more drugs. Even though I was exhausted, I finally felt like myself again. I didn’t feel numb. His hand paused on the strap of my tank top and I kept the smile plastered to my face. I felt everything. For a moment I wanted to be numb again. I didn’t want to feel his touch. I didn’t want to be here. “I took some Advil. And I’ve been icing it. It’ll be fine in a few days.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the doctor? You look exhausted.”

I laughed it off. “It’s nothing serious.” But it did hurt. It hurt and I missed the way Ben had taken care of me. For just one moment, I had felt almost loved. How quickly such a feeling could fade.

“Okay. I won’t push it.” His fingers toyed with the strap of my tank top. “I can whip us up something for dinner. Are you hungry?”

I saw no reason to delay the inevitable. I felt like an actress. Like I was performing a role I wasn’t quite ready to play. But I had no choice. I had already been cast. I batted my eyelashes. “No, I’m not hungry. I missed you.” I grabbed his hand and let him lower the strap he had been touching.

“I missed you too, Adeline. One day, I won’t have to travel as much.” He leaned down and kissed the side of my neck as he continued to pull the fabric down my arm. “One day soon.”

One day soon? The words echoed in my head. It felt like my world was collapsing. What did he mean by one day soon?

I closed my eyes tight and tried to pretend Ben was the one climbing on top of me. Ben would be gentle. He’d be loving. And he’d never be mine. Because I’d never be able to escape my husband. Never.

Chapter 10

I pushed the kale around with my fork. It was bland and lifeless. It was almost like I was staring at the vegetable equivalent of myself. I wanted another burger and greasy goodness. I never minded the diet before. But now that I had met Ben, I felt different. I wanted to break the rules. I wanted a freaking brownie.

“Adeline.”

My eyes snapped to his. The look on his face made it seem like he had been trying to get my attention. “Sorry, what did you say?”

He smiled. “How was your week?”

“It was fine.”

“Just fine? Nothing out of the ordinary?”

My heart rate accelerated. He knows. He had only just arrived back to town. Had the gossip already spread so far? I set my fork down. I wasn’t hungry for vegetables anyway. I needed to nip anything he had heard in the bud. “Actually, I hired a new gardener.”

“What was wrong with the last one?”

He didn’t seem suspicious. It’s not like it would be the first time I had fired someone. “He didn’t mow the lawn in straight lines. You know how that bothers me.” My lie was stupid. Fortunately for me, I had grown to be quite the perfectionist. So at least it was believable. But with my mind less foggy, I doubt I’d notice whether a line was straight. Pieces of dust on the mantle didn’t even seem to bother me anymore. I had done the worst cleaning of my life and it had nothing to do with my hurt ankle. I just suddenly realized I didn’t care. My knee had stopped bouncing. I had stopped obsessing. The medicine was what had been causing me to be OCD. And the prescription they had given me to combat my OCD made me anxious. And the anxiety medication... I let my thoughts trail off. None of it mattered.

“You seem different today,” he said.

“Do I?” It was a strange turn of conversation. I t

hought he’d question me about the new gardener. But he didn’t seem suspicious at all. Well, maybe he was a little suspicious of me. He was staring at me peculiarly. Almost like he was studying me.

He smiled again. I hated when he smiled. “You seem…I don’t know…lighter.” He laughed. “Not in a weight way. Just in a mood way. Maybe that new depression medicine you started taking is finally kicking in. You’re feeling good?”

“Mhm.” I took a huge sip of my glass of water and my throat made a weird noise. I didn’t want him to be analyzing me. For some reason, I wanted him to be questioning me. He should have been firing questions at me about the new help. Not…this. “You know Charlotte Hallady? Well, she was the one that recommended the new landscaping company.”

“I’m glad you’re finally making friends.”

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