Page 14 of The Truth in My Lies (Secrets of Suburbi 1)

“There’s nothing wrong with being dirty,” I said and picked up a fry.

I thought maybe I imagined it yesterday. But I don’t think I had. Because his Adam’s apple had just risen and fallen again. The action made me press my thighs together.

“No, there’s definitely nothing wrong with being dirty,” he said.

I bit the inside of my lip. How long did he say he was staying? I had a feeling that as time ticked by I’d have a harder and harder time keeping my hands to myself.

Chapter 8

I squeezed the excess water out of my hair before wrapping a towel around myself. I was terribly out of practice with flirting. Somehow our conversation had taken a quick turn to the fact that I was actually dirty. The sexual innuendo evaporated completely when I had started talking about my greasy hair.

But the tension in the air hadn’t gone away. It still swirled around me even though he was all the way downstairs. Doing who knows what in my house.

Just the thought made me hurry. I combed out the knots in my hair and applied a little too much makeup for a day at home. I pushed my bangs aside to see the bruise that Ben had pointed out yesterday. It was almost invisible under my foundation, but I added a little concealer just in case. In a few days, it would be gone completely and I wouldn’t have to worry. But until then, Ben was asking invasive questions. And I was starting to wonder why. Was it really because he liked me? He was seven years younger than me. What could he possibly want from me that he couldn’t get from someone his own age?

Was a seven year age gap enough for me to be considered a cougar? Just the thought made me feel nauseous. I wasn’t one of those women. And it wasn’t like I was going to act on my desire. I couldn’t afford to act on my desires. I positioned my bangs back in place and hopped into my bedroom. Yoga pants and a tank top seemed like the easiest clothes to crawl around in. And take off. Stop it!

For some reason, I still pulled on a red lacy thong and matching bra. Just in case. Not that anything was going to happen. Geez, he was 23. He was too young. Too nice. Too naïve for…me. I caught my reflection in the mirror. So why did I put on so much mascara?

I turned away from the mirror. It was easy to picture this house being a home. Was that what I wanted? To feel loved again? To feel whole? I blinked quickly so that my mascara wouldn’t start to run. None of that mattered. Ben could be my friend. Nothing more. I wasn’t even sure why I let my mind wander.

I opened up the door and sat down on the stairs. My pride wouldn’t let me call for him. Or maybe it was just that if I was in his arms again I’d lose all self-control. I scooted down the stairs a step at a time.

My legs were in good shape from running. But having to slowly hoist myself down each step made the muscles in my arms burn. I needed to add strength training to my workouts.

A deep chuckle made me look up. Ben was standing at the foot of the stairs with his arms folded across his chest. The amused look on his face made me press my lips together.

I wanted him. I wanted him desperately. That was why I threw insults his way. It was easier than admitting that I couldn’t have what I wanted. I needed him to become something I didn’t crave. “Would you stop staring at me? You don’t need to be here.” I swallowed down the groan in my throat as I moved down another stair.

“Why is it so hard for you to ask for help?”

Because asking comes with dire consequences. “I’m used to doing things on my own. I don’t need anyone’s help.”

“So…you don’t want me to carry you down the rest of the stairs?”

“No.”

Ow. My butt hit one of the wooden steps hard when one of my hands slipped. I looked down at my hurt palm. I had forgotten to put a new Band-Aid on it. I tried to calculate how hard it would be to move back up the stairs.

“Addy, I’m offering to help you.”

“And I’m telling you I don’t need it.”

“Here I thought that you’d be more chipper after a hot shower.”

“You try balancing on one foot on slippery tile. This isn’t exactly fun for me.”

“How about you let me help you out until you’re back on your feet?”

I stared down at my ankle. How long would that be? Why on earth was I even considering it? “Don’t you have places to be? Things to landscape?”

He laughed. “If you haven’t noticed, fall is here. Fall and winter are my down seasons. I can make it work.”

Yesterday I was worried I’d never see him again. The thought had terrified me. Thursdays had always been the days I looked forward to. He was offering to be here…what…every day? For a few weeks? I needed to send him away. But it was hard. I wanted him here. I wanted to believe that this thing between us could actually be real.

“Let me help you.” His voice was gentle.

And for some reason it brought tears to the corners of my eyes. I blinked to rid the pools that threatened to fall. “It’s hard to get up and down the stairs.” I sounded dejected. Small. But maybe just a tiny bit hopeful. What if he was the one that could actually save me from this hell?

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