Page 101 of The Truth in My Lies (Secrets of Suburbi 1)

“We really should step outside,” I said. I heard his words. I did. And maybe I could convince him to let me go. Or even to come with me. But we couldn’t do it right here. We were running out of time.

“I can forgive one murder. I can understand that you were hurting. That you were manipulated. That you were drugged. But 22 deaths? Addy, you’re the definition of a serial killer.”

I'm a monster. He didn’t have to say it. I knew what he was thinking. And I didn’t disagree with him. “I was still on drugs.”

“Drugs that you prescribed yourself! That’s not the same.”

No, it wasn’t. “Ben, when the cops open the front door, this whole place is going to blow up.”

He lifted his gun higher. “You expect me to believe that? You’re not getting away from me this time. I have everything I need to bring you in.”

“Which we can discuss outside. I rigged the front door. When it opens t

he blowtorch will ignite, lighting the trail of kerosene that leads in here.” I gestured to the boxes. “Everything’s going to explode.”

He eyed the stove. I knew he smelled the gas. He knew I wasn’t lying.

But he didn’t move. He just turned back to me. “Was anything you said to me true? Or was this whole thing just a game to you?” It seemed like he was giving up. That the pain I had caused him really was as bad as he claimed. And it was the first time I had ever regretted hurting someone.

He saw the worst of me. Everything. All the horrible things I had done. Did he still love me? I felt like I could see it in his eyes. But I needed to know. I needed to know if it was possible to convince him to forgive me. I needed to remind him of what he had said to me. “Remember when I told you there was nothing in-between good and evil? That there was no gray? You didn’t believe me. You said that was a pessimistic outlook. And that people can commit crimes with good intentions. That’s what I did, Ben. I had good reasons. I can’t take back what I did. But I’ll stop. For you, I’ll…”

The sound of the front door opening made all my thoughts disappear. I lunged for the window. I tried to grab his hand but he ducked out of the way. I broke through the glass just as the kerosene ignited behind me.

I fell onto the wet grass and turned around. The whole house was engulfed in flames. No. I wanted to destroy the evidence. Not Ben. No! I struggled to my feet and ran to the back door. I opened it and a blast of heat almost knocked me backward. I took a huge gulp of air and crawled into the house.

The fire lapped at the walls, burning the cabinets off their hinges. The boxes had already been incinerated. I heard shouting but it was far away.

“Ben!” I coughed.

Smoke curled around me, choking me, getting denser by the second.

“Ben!”

I couldn’t see him. I got lower, slinking along the floor. “God, Ben!” He was lying on the far side of the kitchen. His body must have been thrown in the explosion. I crawled over to him.

“Ben, please.” I tried to shake him awake, but his head flopped back and forth. I needed to get him out of the fire. I choked on the air as I grabbed his hands and pulled.

It was getting harder and harder to breathe. When I finally reached the back door, I shoved him out of the house. He rolled into the grass and didn’t move.

“Ben.” I tapped the side of his face. “Ben, wake up.” There was blood dripping down from his hairline. I wiped it away. “Ben, I’m sorry. There was truth in my lies. At least one truth. I love you. I didn’t lie about that. I fell in love with you, Ben. Wake up.”

Sirens sounded in the distance. People were screaming in the front yard. If there had been more time, I could have convinced him to come with me. If he had left the house, we could still be talking. He’d know that I loved him. I’d promise to stop. I’d give it up for him.

“Ben, please.”

The shouts were getting louder. People were coming this way.

I didn’t know if he was alive or dead. But I knew I’d be caught if I didn’t go now. I had to go.

I took one last look at the man I loved. The man I had deceived. The man who didn’t shoot me when he had the chance.

And then I ran. I ran like I always did. But this time, I knew why I was so tired of running. Because I could never run away from what I had become.

Despite everything I had done, I only had one regret, though. That Ben would never know the truth in my lies.

THE END

Liked this book and want more? Check out Book 1 of Ivy Smoak's romantic suspense series, Made of Steel!

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