Page 123 of Going for Gold (Sweet Cravings 3)

"Hi, Dad," I said as he grabbed a bowl and some cereal out of the cupboard.

He didn't say anything else as he sat down at the table across from me. He ate his cereal in silence as I pretended to look through the mail. His silence was killing me. He dropped his spoon in his empty bowl. But instead of getting up, he looked at me. "I regret selling the bakery," he said.

My eyes started to water. "I regret what I did too."

He nodded.

I wasn't sure there was anything else to say. We were both sorry, but neither one of us was ready to forgive.

"We're handing the keys over tonight. If you want, you can go today and make sure everything is in order." He scratched the back of his neck. "To say goodbye."

"Yeah, I think I'll do that."

He stood up and put his bowl in the sink. Usually he would kiss me on the cheek before he left for work. I so badly wanted things to just go back to normal. He stopped by the chair I was sitting on.

"Sorry, kiddo," he said and awkwardly patted me on the head.

"I'm sorry too."

He cleared his throat and immediately left the kitchen. It wasn't normalcy, but it was a good start. As soon as the front door closed, I replayed Bryce's message. It was the only thing that seemed to make me happy. Maybe I'd call him tomorrow. Today I had to say goodbye to the bakery. I couldn't take another goodbye right now. I needed to hold on just a little longer. Hell, he probably wouldn't even answer my call.

***

I slid the pan into the oven and set the timer. One last dessert. I wiped down the counter that I had just gotten messy. All I could think about was the fact that I had done it a million times and this would be my last.

I turned around and looked back at the ovens. It seemed like only yesterday when I was putting cookies in the oven with my grandma. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The bakery always smelled like vanilla and fresh bread. If I saved up and opened up another one, would it smell like this? Or was this the last time I'd be able to breathe in my favorite scent?

I quickly wiped my tears away and pulled out my phone. It wasn't fair, but I needed him. I just needed to hear his voice. I didn't care how selfish it seemed. I loved him. Didn't that mean that we could work through this? Didn't that mean I shouldn't give up?

Before I could chicken out, I pressed on Bryce's name in my phone. It rang several times and then went to voicemail. I should hang up. But before I could decide what to do, his voicemail beeped. Shit.

"Bryce? It's me. Alina." I cleared my throat. "Alina Smith." What the hell am I doing? "I don't even know where to start. I know you don't want to see me anymore. I went to Pasadena to see you after the ITAs. And you made it pretty clear..." my voice trailed off. I was silent for a long time. I just didn't know what to say to make it better. "But I just needed you to know how sorry I am. If I could take it back I would. I just really need to hear your voice. I'm saying goodbye..." the phone beeped.

"Shit," I mumbled. I had been rambling too long. The message had cut me off. He was going to think I was saying goodbye to him. I didn't want to say goodbye to him!

I immediately called back. After a few rings it went to voicemail again. "Hi, Bryce. It's me, Alina Smith. Again. I wasn't saying goodbye to you. I don't want to ever say goodbye to you." I laughed awkwardly. "I know that's what you want. And obviously I'll respect your boundaries. I'm not going to stalk you. I mean, I did kind of already, but I won't come back to Pasadena is what I mean." I sighed. "I was saying goodbye to the bakery today is what I was trying to say in my last message. And I know that's not your problem. But, Bryce, you're the only thing that I can think about that makes me happy right now." I could feel myself choking up. "I just want you to know how sorry I am. And how much I love you." Oh God. "How much I'm falling in love with you." I put my face in my hands. "Sorry, that's not true." The voicemail beeped, ending my call again.

"Fuck!" I called him back again. "Bryce, it's Alina again," I said as soon as the voicemail kicked in. "What I meant was that it's not true that I'm falling in love with you. Because I am in love with you. I'm sure you already think I'm a lunatic, so I might as well put it all out there. I can't stop thinking about you. I don't want to stop thinking about you. Please, please just call me back. I need you right now." I let my last sentence sit there for a few seconds. "I love you, Bryce." The phone beeped.

I put the phone down and wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. It took every ounce of my resolve to not immediately call him back. I could apologize a million times and confess my feelings a million more. It wasn't going to fix anything.

I sighed and leaned against the counter. Even if he didn't call me back, I was glad I did it. He had to know. Not that he'd believe me. Who falls in love with someone and then immediately has sex with a bunch of other men?

The oven timer went off. I grabbed a potholder and opened up the oven. They looked perfect. I pulled out the pan and set it on top of the stove. Homemade brigadeiros. I had looked up a recipe on my phone.

I wanted to travel back in time to when I was eating my first one. Back when I was first falling for Bryce. I had hoped that making his favorite dessert would help me feel like I was close to him again. I lifted one off the pan and popped it into my mouth.

It was good. But it wasn't as good as it had been in Brazil. It had nothing to do with the taste, though. I closed my eyes and pictured myself back on our first date. I thought about his fingers grabbing my hips in the car. I thought about the way his hand lingered on my back. I thought about him telling me he liked me. It almost felt like he was beside me again. I could almost feel his arms around me.

The bell on the door jingled, signaling that a customer had just walked in.

"We're closed." I turned around to see who had walked in. I swallowed hard. Bryce?

Chapter 54

Alina

My hands gripped the edge of the counter. I wanted to run over to him and jump into his arms. I wanted to kiss every inch of his perfect face. I wanted him to know how much I loved him. "What are you doing here?" I said lamely instead. I could hear how breathless my voice sounded. He was going to think I was psychotic.

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