Page 38 of Carved in Ice (Made of Steel 3)

“I’ve seen more people die than I care to remember. I’m not going to sit here and have you judge me too.”

“Who else is judging you? Our mutual friend?”

“Yes, who else would I be talking about? The one that you can’t talk about yet you’re always bringing him up.”

“I didn’t bring him up,” Dr. Miller said. “You did.”

I took a huge breath and exhaled slowly. “Well I don’t want to talk about him, or Eli, or anyone else. I just want to sit here and eat in silence.”

“I think it’s important that you go to the hospital, Alison. You don’t want to regret this choice.”

“It’s not a choice! I’m being held here against my will!”

“Emotionally? Or…” Dr. Miller’s voice trailed off. He was looking at me like I was insane.

Screw V. Screw the secrets. If I was being forced to see a therapist, I could say whatever I damned well pleased. And he was my doctor. He couldn’t tell anyone what I said. Right? Fuck it. “I’m not abandoning Eli. There’s nothing in the world I want more than to be with him. But I’m not allowed to leave the apartment because it’s on lockdown. I tried to leave and the doorknob literally shocked me.”

He just stared at me. He clearly didn’t believe me.

“Your patient isn’t who he says he is.” I put patient in air quotes. “He’s the New York City vigilante and he’s holding me against my will. I don’t even know his real name. You’re the only one that does and the fact that you refuse to share it is infuriating.”

Dr. Miller didn’t say a word.

“He’s a murderer, Dr. Miller. He killed someone right in front of me. He needs to be locked up, not me.”

No response.

I stood up and walked over to the fake wall. I pressed my thumb against a button and the wall started to ascend, revealing our headquarters. I stepped into it and the floor lit up red. “This is his secret lair.” I gestured to the computers and the target on the wall. The glass table spread with documents. A bulletin board filled with pictures and yarn connecting images.

Nothing.

“My name isn’t Alison. V lies about everything. He lies to himself about his feelings. He lies to me constantly. He’s certainly lied to you about his true identity. And he’s holding me here against my will.”

Nothing.

“We’re part of secret team to take down Don Roberts. You know…our beloved mayor? He was my foster father. He’s the one that raped me. He’s the one that broke me.” My voice cracked. “And I think he has my old babysitter, Julie, hostage. I think he killed my parents. I know he killed my aunt, even though I’m wanted for her murder. And he certainly killed me. Because as much as I wish that I could be myself again, that part of me is dead.” I sat down. “I died when I was 8 years old and I’ve been trying to hold on to someone that doesn’t exist anymore. I’m so tired.”

Dr. Miller smiled. “Now we’re finally getting somewhere, Summer.”

Chapter 18

Saturday

I stared at Dr. Miller and the smile on his face. Had I just heard him correctly? “How do you know my name?”

“My patient never talked about Alison. That was true. But he always talks about you.”

“Your patient…”

“V. And he’s never lied to me. Despite what you seem to think. I’ve been very aware of his extracurricular activities.”

“But he said that you didn’t know…”

“I never said he didn’t lie to you. Although, I strongly advised him against it. He has it stuck in his head that you need to love both sides of him equally before he tells you the truth. Which makes no sense. Most people fall in love with one person at a time. He’s asking too much from you.”

“Both sides of him?”

“The darkness and the light.”

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