I couldn't focus on a word that the professor was saying. My eyes were glued to the phone. I didn't know if V was mad or completely neutral. But I hated where we had left things this morning. "I didn't mean you were a disaster, V," I typed out and pressed send.
I stared down at my phone for the rest of the class. A response never came.
Chapter 29
Wednesday
I moved my hand away as soon as Eli reached for it.
He sighed. "Sadie, we're supposed to be in a relationship. That means holding hands after class."
"Relationships mean different things to everyone. And if anyone asks, we're taking it slow." I pushed the door open and took a huge breath of autumn air. I had already agreed to go on the double date with him. There was no reason why I had to hold his hand. What if Miles walked by? I didn't want to hurt him.
I tried to focus on the fact that the air seemed crisp. There were even a few leaves crunching under my feet.
"Is the idea of being with me really so repulsive?" Eli said with a light laugh.
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. Even though he had laughed, he looked hurt. "I didn't say that."
"Do you want me to walk you to your dorm or back to V's?"
"Neither." I didn't want to run into Miles at my dorm. And I didn't want to be alone with V right now either.
"So what do you want to do?"
"I want to figure out where Julie is."
"If you want to do surveillance we have to head back to V's." His voice had changed when he said it. Almost like he loathed the idea of needing to go there.
I shook my head. "Don't you have some equipment we can use?"
"It's not as good." He shoved his hands into his pockets. "The local government doesn't rob people to fund high tech secret lairs."
"Right, they just use taxes for that."
He laughed.
And for a moment everything between us seemed normal. "I don't need fancy equipment anyway. I know that none of you believe me. But I can feel him." I stopped and sat down on a bench on the outskirts of campus.
Eli sat down next to me. "I believe that you can feel when something is wrong. But that doesn't mean he's here."
I closed my eyes. "He's here. And if I can feel that, I should be able to figure out where he is. Right?"
"So, you want to sit here and try to feel his presence?"
I laughed and opened my eyes. "You think I'm a lunatic."
"I think that maybe you haven't been getting enough sleep. But I don't think you're crazy. I get the idea that you can feel that something is amiss. I feel it. Everyone in this city feels it." He nodded to a lady across the street. There was a man walking behind her who looked innocent enough. Regardless, the woman had grabbed her purse with both hands and had quickened her pace.
"Even if he isn't here, he left that feeling behind," Eli said. "People are scared."
I looked down at my hands. I had brought that fear here. But I was going to do everything in my power to get rid of it. "I don't want V to know what I'm planning to do."
Eli didn't say a word.
"Please don't tell him," I said and looked up into Eli's eyes.
"If you're worried about him being part of your conspiracy to commit murder, it doesn't matter. He already has enough on his rap sheet to put him away for life at this point. Another murder won't make a difference."