Page 89 of Made of Steel (Made of Steel 1)

Thursday

My bus wouldn't be coming for another hour. I walked into Central Park. It was the only place that really felt like home in this city. I had told myself I felt comfortable in my dorm and with the new people in my life, but it was all a lie. All I knew were lies. Which made the decision about where to go even easier. For ten years, all I had wanted was to go home. Now I was actually allowed to. Hopefully Don would follow me out west and then I'd work harder to disappear. I had to draw him out of the city. It shouldn't be that hard, darkness always had a way of following me.

I walked off the path and sat down in the grass. I leaned against the rock behind me and stared up at the dim stars. If I looked really hard, I could see Sagitta. Maybe the arrow was pointing me home. Maybe I could finally get some peace if I went back there. Maybe I could let some of this pain go. I lightly touched the center of my chest.

"You can't leave," a voice rumbled behind me.

I wasn't surprised that he had figured out my plans. He was always watching. "It's what you wanted." I continued to look up at the stars. There had already been so many goodbyes. I wasn't sure I had another one in me. Besides, it would just end up with me not trusting him either, leaving me with nothing.

"Not now." He stood in front of me, blocking my view of the stars.

"Nothing's changed. You don't even know me. I'm putting everyone in danger by staying, including you." I stood up and started to walk away from him.

"Some risks are worth taking."

His words made me freeze in my tracks. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth any of this. "You killed someone."

"I didn't have a choice."

"You always have a choice." I hadn't even realized it, but I was mad at him. How could he take someone's life so easily? Mine had been taken from me. No one had given that a second thought.

"He was hurting you." He took a step closer to me.

I could smell his cologne. It made me feel slightly dizzy. "I'm used to being hurt."

"And I refuse to let anything else happen to you."

"Which is exactly why I have to go. I'm not going to let you get hurt when I'm the one being targeted. I already have my bus ticket. It's too late, I'm not changing my mind."

"I know you feel it too," he said, ignoring me. "I know that you're conflicted." He placed his gloved hand on the center of my chest.

I did feel it. It was like he could feel my pain. It almost felt like he was taking it away, putting it on himself. I was suddenly able to breathe a little easier. But it was way more than that. I felt this undeniable connection between us. I didn't understand it. I didn't even know him. I shook my head. "You told me to stop thinking about you."

"It'll kill me if you leave," his voice rumbled.

"Why? Why do you care so much about me?"

"Because I see the real you, the you that you try so hard to hide. But you can't hide from me. I've always seen you. Your beauty, inside and out, captivates my soul. There's a goodness in you that I crave. I can feel the pain in your heart. It cripples me. I'm tormented by your frowns. I'm only at peace when I see you smile. You're everything to me. You're the calm to my chaos. The silence to all the noise. You're the air that I breathe. And I know you understand me, the way no one else possibly could. Because you know what it's like to hide behind a mask too," he whispered.

He knows? He could have meant anything by that. Maybe he thought I was hiding something else from him. But it didn't seem like it. He knows that I'm Summer. "Let me see your face."

He stepped closer to me until I could feel his body heat. "You don't need to see me. I'm the one you dream about. I'm the only one you need."

"You can't stalk my dreams like you stalk me in real life."

"Your words may push others away, but not me. Tell me that I'm wrong." He put his hand on the side of my face. "Tell me that you don't shiver at my touch. Tell me that you don't dream of my lips. Tell me you don't want to know what it feels like to have me inside of you." His breath was hot in my ear.

Jesus. I swallowed hard.

"You don't understand. It's more complicated than that." I moved my head back so that our lips were only an inch apart. My body did shiver under his touch. I had dreamt of his touch so many nights. And I had dreamt of so much more.

"I do understand. You told me you were strong enough to face your fears here. You told me you wanted to help. So stay." He pushed the hoodie off my head and let his fingers tangle in my hair as he pressed himself against me. "Please stay."

"I was wrong." I let the tears fall down my cheeks. "I'm in trouble and I don't know what to do."

"I know. But I won't let anything happen to you."

I shook my head. I'd get him killed. "I'm so tired of living in pain. But I'm not strong enough to fight it."

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