Page 67 of Made of Steel (Made of Steel 1)

"She said stop."

I didn't need to look to see who it was. I'd recognize Miles' voice anywhere.

Eli didn't let go of my arm. "This isn't any of your business, man." He didn't even look at Miles. "You said you wanted to go outside, so let's go outside, Sadie." His hand gripped me even tighter.

"You're making it my business." Miles pulled Eli off of me.

I immediately grabbed my arm. I hadn't imagined it. There were red spots on my forearm where his fingers had been.

"Get the fuck off of me." Eli pushed Miles' hands away and shoved him hard.

Miles grabbed Eli's shirt and pushed him against the wall. His arm was pressed against Eli's throat.

"Please stop." I didn't want them to fight. I just needed the stars. I just needed to breathe.

"If I see you touch her like that again, I will end you." Miles immediately released his grip on Eli's shirt.

"Sadie, come on, let's go," Eli said a little more calmly.

I didn't want to go with him. I didn't want him to touch me.

"Get out of this dorm before I write you up," Miles said.

"We'll finish this conversation later, Sadie," Eli said. His voice didn't sound threatening. It sounded defeated.

I watched him walk away. Each step he took I seemed to breathe a little easier. And with each step, I realized that I could never love someone. I'd never be able to. If I could, I'd love Eli. I'd want him to touch me. I'd want to be with him every second of every day. That was never going to happen. He deserved better than me. I wrapped my arms around myself. It was my fault. All of this was my fault.

Chapter 34

Monday

"Sadie." Mile's voice was gentle. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

I couldn't explain myself to him. He wouldn't understand that the emotional pain was worse than the physical pain. That all of it was in my head. No one would ever understand. "I need some air."

He didn't say anything. I could feel his eyes on me, studying me. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't bear to make eye contact with him. His scrutiny was making me feel so exposed.

"Okay," he said slowly. "Come with me." He didn't try to touch me. Instead, he just started walking toward the stairs.

I followed him. I didn't know how to not follow Miles Young. When I entered the stairwell, I was surprised to see him walking up instead of down. Where was he going? I continued to follow him until he stopped in front of a door marked, "Private Use Only."

"What is this?"

He pulled out a lanyard from his pocket and inserted a key into the lock. "Only the best view in the city." He pushed the door open.

The cool night air washed over me as I walked through the door he was holding open for me. If I wasn't already having trouble breathing, it would have taken my breath away. The city lights lit up everything as far as the eye could see. It was almost like looking at the stars in the sky. I blinked away the tears in my eyes. It was beautiful. We were on the top of the dorm complex. I walked over to the very edge and placed my hands on the concrete ledge.

"And the best part," Miles said as he leaned against the ledge beside me, "isn't even the city." He pointed to the sky.

My eyes followed his hand. The stars. I exhaled slowly. This was the kind of moment I had missed the most with him. He had always been so good at pointing out the stars to me. I let myself get lost in the sky.

The silence seemed to settle around us. It was like he was waiting for me to say something, but I didn't know what to say. "It's not what you think," I finally said, breaking the silence.

"You don't have to defend him. Not to me."

I swallowed hard. "He didn't mean to hurt me."

"That doesn't make it any better."

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