Page 40 of Made of Steel (Made of Steel 1)

Instinctively, his arms wrapped protectively around me. "You said you weren't feeling well. I brought you soup."

He brought me soup.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I thought when you didn't tell me to stop that it was okay. But I should have asked you."

"I didn't tell you to stop because I didn't want you to stop." I turned my head and kissed the top of his chest that was showing through the two undone buttons. If I was ever going to get over my past, I needed to do this. I needed to love him and I needed to let him love me.

"I came here to apologize."

I undid another button on his shirt.

"Sadie."

I undid a few more buttons.

"You were just crying. We should talk about what's been upsetting you."

"I don't need to talk." I finished undoing all his buttons. I watched his Adam's apple rise and then fall. "I just need you." I kissed the front of his neck.

I could feel his hands sliding down my back. I tried to focus on how good it felt, instead of the fear pulsing through my veins.

He grabbed my ass and lifted my legs around his waist as his lips crashed against mine.

I'm okay. God, I wanted him. I'm definitely okay.

His kisses seemed more passionate as he set me down on the edge of the bed. It was like we were both freefalling into the unknown. There was no stopping me now. I pushed his shirt off his shoulders. He was strong. He'd be able to protect me. He was all that I needed. I wrapped my fingers around his biceps.

"It's okay if you want to wait." He kissed me behind my ear as his hand slipped underneath the back of my hoodie.

I clenched my eyes shut. It feels good. I'm okay. I'm safe.

"You know that I'll wait for you."

"I don't want to wait."

"Sadie." He gently touched the side of my face.

Fire and ice. I opened my eyes. He must have seen them shut tightly. "I want this." My fingers slid down his abs. I couldn't wait. I was done waiting. I had been waiting my whole life.

"Is this your first time?"

I swallowed hard. "No." It would be the first time like this. But it definitely wasn't my first time. I didn't want to be talking about this. I wanted his lips back on mine. But he wasn't moving. "I promise that this is what I want. I just need you to go slowly."

He put his hands on either side of me on the bed without touching me. "Going slowly means stopping right now. Let's wait, okay?"

"That's not what I meant. I just...I don't want you to hurt me."

He lowered his eyebrows. "I'm not going to hurt you." He lightly touched the side of my face. "I care about you, Sadie. I'll never hurt you."

"I care about you too."

He stepped forward slightly, spreading my thighs farther apart.

I swallowed down my panic.

"I'll go slowly." He lightly kissed my lips. "As slow as you want." He kissed my check.

His words seemed to calm me down. My heartbeats were slow and steady even though my skin felt like it was on fire. I'm safe.

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