Page 32 of Made of Steel (Made of Steel 1)

"No."

"Good. Now, I really need you to only use this number if there is an emergency, okay?"

I was pissed at him. I knew he could tell it too. I doubted I'd ever call him again. "Okay."

"Is there anything else you need to verify while you have me on the line?"

"No."

"Then put the smile back on your face and keep blending in. Be a normal college student. This is a blessing, not a curse. The sooner you can accept that, the better. Understand?"

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me. I was making him an enemy in my head and I didn't even know why. He was the only one who truly knew me anymore. He was the only one on my side. "Thank you for the books."

He paused. "I shouldn't have encouraged you to hold on to the past. I'm sorry about that."

"You didn't. You just reminded me that I should believe that there could be a better tomorrow."

"Good luck, Sadie. And if all goes well, you'll never speak to me again."

Why did he always dismiss me that way whenever we ended a conversation? Even though I was angry, I didn't really want to never speak to him again. I wanted someone to remember me for who I was if I wasn't allowed to anymore. "Thanks for everything, Mr. Crawford."

The line went dead.

Chapter 19

Tuesday

I pulled my hair in front of my shoulders to hide the bruises as best I could. For some reason, it hadn't even occurred to me that I wouldn't be allowed to wear my hoodie at work. But as soon as I got there, Joan had handed me a t-shirt that had Corner Diner scrawled across it and told me to change.

I touched the center of my chest. I could feel the Sagitta pendant underneath. There was no reason for me to be here. I had more money than I could possibly imagine. But I wasn't going to touch it. I wanted to start over on my own. And this job was going to be good for me. It would help me focus on the present. Besides, the present was a whole lot better than my past. As long as Don Roberts had a no contact order, he couldn't touch me. And as long as I stayed invisible, he wouldn't be able to find me even when he could leave Colorado. Which would hopefully be never after the trial. Not that I had much faith in Mr. Crawford anymore.

No more calling Mr. Crawford. No more imagining people following me. No more getting pulled into my own fears. I was done.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the text from Eli.

"See you after work. There's this ice cream place down the street from the diner. Dessert is on me."

"See you then," I quickly typed back. Yes, the present was a whole lot better than my past.

***

My shift was almost over. It had flown by. I liked talking to the customers. I liked getting the tips even better. It would be easy to live off the money I made here. There was no reason why I'd need more money than this.

The diner was still packed even though it was after 9. I started bussing down my last table. I piled all the cups and plates onto my tray and lifted it with one hand.

I glanced out the window. Eli was already standing outside the diner. His eyes met mine and he smiled. I'm pretty sure I blushed. Honestly, I had been looking forward to seeing him all day. I could tell that Tuesdays and Thursdays were going to be my least favorite just because I didn't have any classes with him.

Someone bumped into me while I was staring out the window. I had good balance, but it was just enough to tip the tray slightly to the left. Before I could straighten my hand, the cups and plates slid off the tray and crashed onto the floor.

Shit! I immediately knelt down and started wiping up the mess.

"I'm so sorry," said a deep voice. "I didn't see..." his voice trailed off.

I looked up to tell him it was okay. It wasn't the first time I had dropped a tray. But I lost my voice when I saw his eyes; his perfect brown eyes. I'd recognize those eyes until my dying breath. It felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. Miles? I swallowed hard. Miles fucking Young? So much for forgetting about the past when the past was literally right in front of me. Part of me wanted to grab his face and kiss him. God, I missed him. I missed his smile and his laugh and the way he made me feel. But a much bigger part of me wanted to slap his perfect face. I hated him. My heart was filled with anger for the way he had left me. He abandoned me when I needed him the most. I felt like I was going to be sick, but I couldn't look away from him. He looked the same, yet so different. His hair was cut close on the sides, but was long on top. It still fell on his forehead in that way that made me gulp. His jaw line was sharp and there was stubble across it. The playfulness was gone from his eyes though. He looked grown up. But really, he looked more tired than anything else. What happened to you? What happened to us?

"Summer?"

I immediately shook my head. It took me a second to remember who I was, who I was trying to become. Because when he said my name like that, I just wanted to be what he remembered. I wanted to be that small, happy girl. Even once my parents had died and I started to feel invisible, he had always made me feel seen. But that was a long time ago. "No. That's not my name." It practically came out as a whisper. "I'm Sadie." I didn't put my hand out for him to shake. I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want to know if I still felt that spark. I couldn't still feel that spark. Some things were better left in the past. I knew that better than anyone.

---