Page 39 of Made of Steel (Made of Steel 1)

"How are your classes going?" he asked.

"Pretty good." I wasn't going to sit here and have small talk with him. Maybe this helped other people on my floor, but seeing him only hurt me. "I'm sorry, I really do need to get going. It was great meeting you." It hadn't been great. Now I wished I had never seen him again. He was going to ruin my fresh start. He was going to ruin everything. I stood up and walked toward the door.

"Sadie?"

My feet stopped moving and I closed my eyes. I don't know what I wanted him to say. But all of this was wrong. All of it. I kept my back turned toward him.

"I'm here if you need to talk."

No...you're not. You were never there for me.

"It's not really my business, but I saw the bruises on your neck. If your boyfriend is hurting you..."

I did not need Miles Young to save me. He was five years too late. "You're right, it's not your business. I'm going to be late." I walked away as fast as I could. I thought he was searching my face because a small piece of him didn't believe that I wasn't Summer. But he was just trying to see if I was in pain. From my non-existent abusive boyfriend. Why the hell did he care so much about some random girl he just met more than the real me? Why had he ignored my pain?

Chapter 23

Wednesday

I stared at the ceiling. Kins was still out. The silence was starting to drive me crazy. I needed someone to talk to, but no one could know what I was going through. The Sagitta pendant felt heavy on my chest. I should have taken it off and thrown it away. I couldn't make myself do it, though.

My phone buzzed again. I slid my finger across the screen and looked down at the new message from Eli.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I took things too far. I wasn't thinking. I'm really sorry, Sadie. Please pick up your phone."

I had told him I wasn't feeling well, but he didn't seem to believe me. And why should he? I had been lying to him since we met. Ever since I had talked to Miles, I felt on edge. For the rest of the day, the eerie feeling that someone was watching me had returned. It was probably in my head. I didn't feel safe anymore, though.

I found Mr. Crawford's name in my phone. My finger hesitated above the call button. Call him. Why couldn't I press the button? I tossed my phone onto my bed and sat up, pulling my knees into my chest. I needed to leave. My identity had been compromised. Those were the instructions I had been given. But I didn't want to leave. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. I finally felt like I was fitting in somewhere. It finally felt like I could find a home.

My phone buzzed again. "I'm outside, Sadie. Please just let me up. Please let me in. I just want to talk to you."

I knew he meant he wanted to be let into the building. But my tired mind read it as letting him into my heart. It just made me cry harder. I was leaving. I had to leave. My finger hesitated over the call button again. Why couldn't I do it?

I rested my forehead on top of my knees. The truth was that I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I finally had someone to hold on to, and I couldn't leave. Not yet. I hated goodbyes. I had lost everyone I'd ever loved. I needed Eli. I needed this one glimmer of hope.

A knock on my door made my whole body turn cold. He found me. That was the fear gripping at my chest. He found me. How did he get in? You weren't supposed to let strangers into the building. He's found me. Fear was taking over my mind.

"Sadie, it's me. Eli."

My heartbeats seemed to slow. It wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't my past creeping up to me. It was the boy I didn't want to say goodbye to. Eli.

He knocked again. "Sadie, are you in there?"

I slowly climbed off my bed and wiped the rest of my tears away. My eyes were red. I was sure my mascara was smudged. But I didn't care. A part of me knew that Eli wouldn't care either. He was here because he was worried about me. It had been a long time since anyone had cared enough about me to check to see how I was doing. There was no way I was leaving. I had to stay here. I slowly opened the door.

"Sadie, I'm sorry about earlier. I thought..." his voice trailed off as he took in my appearance. There was so much pain in his expression. "Sadie, I'm so, so sorry."

He thought I was crying about him? He was the only reason I had been smiling recently. He was the only person that could make the eerie feeling of being watched go away.

I quickly shook my head. "You didn't do anything wrong. I've just had a really bad day." I could feel the tears biting at my eyes again. Recently all I ever did was cry.

I heard a door close and I glanced to my left. Miles was standing in the hallway with his arms folded across his chest, staring directly at us. He saw my red eyes. He saw my smudged mascara. And he saw Eli. He could jump to whatever conclusions he wanted to. As long as he didn't know I was crying because of him.

I grabbed Eli's arm and pulled him into my room. The door closed with a thud. The past was out there. But the present was in here with me. I looked up into Eli's kind eyes. He exuded everything I had ever wanted. Strength. Kindness. Understanding.

"We should talk about earlier." He set down a bag on my dresser.

I didn't want to talk. Everything was perfectly clear to me. I was staying here because of him and him alone. I remembered Julie telling me that it took at least a few weeks to know if you loved someone. But I had never thought that was true. I had been looking for someone like Eli for my whole life. I refused to let anyone take him away from me. I was done having things stripped from me. Instead of agreeing to talk about earlier, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. "What's in the bag?" I mumbled against his chest.

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