Page 51 of Festive Flings

“What the fuck happened, Tim?” I ask him but I quickly regret my harsh tone. I have never seen Tim this way, especially not over a girl. “Come on, mate, let's get you a warm drink and a shoulder to cry on.”

I take him up to my flat where Smokey is sprawled on the windowsill taking time to soak up the last of the December sunshine. After making a pot of tea and plating up some biscuits, we settle in my lounge and I sit attentively.

“I took Lauren to meet my sister last night; everything went brilliantly. My sister even gave me this.” He throws a little black box in my direction, and when I open it, my mouth falls open. Inside is a beautifully detailed diamond ring. An engagement ring. “Yes, it's an engagement ring; one that my mother left to me before she died with the instruction that I be told about it when I have found the one.”

I’m not sure of the direction of this story but up to now this all seems very romantic and sweet. Why does he appear to believe that the world is ending?

“It was all going so great. I know she was a bit on edge because when Fliss told me the story behind the ring I got upset and she didn’t know why. So she asked me a couple of times if I was okay. But in all honesty, that’s Lauren’s ring, and I was worried she wouldn’t accept it.”

Dread fills me; my heart is breaking for my friend. She actually turned him down? Poor Tim, putting himself out there like that, with his mother’s ring, too, and she shot him down. I would have been devastated last night if Owen had turned me away. Taking Tim’s hand in mine, I try to offer him some comfort, and when he places his head on my shoulder, I know he is feeling soothed by me just listening and being here.

“I wanted her to at least know how I feel about her and what I see in the future for us. I had it all planned out in my mind; I was going to put candles out and play the soft music she likes, and I was going to tell her how much I adore her, how I had started truly living the moment I met her; that I wanted her in my life for always.”

His voice has taken an edge and his tears fall on my shoulder, the wetness seeping through to my skin.

“And then the shit hit the fan big style. That knobhead Jason was sitting outside my flat, absolutely plastered, wanting somewhere to crash for the night, and when he saw me with Lauren he called her a beached whale, and everything we had built together, the trust she had put in me, just shattered into a million pieces, Jamie. I have never seen someone look so hurt. Those words from him destroyed her and nothing I said or did could change it.” I hug him tight as I cry with him, too. This hasn’t only destroyed Lauren, this has destroyed Tim, too; her pain was now his because he loved her. A love that is precious, pure and true.

“Oh, Tim. I’m so, so sorry. Do you think she’ll change her mind about being with you once she calms down and realises that's not how you see her?” I ask hopefully, but Tim shakes his head at me.

“She is strong, Jay, really strong, determined and stubborn. The thoughts she has about herself are pretty hardcore and toxic. I don’t think anyone has ever had a kind word to say to her. She’s a bigger woman, but to me she is perfect; she is everything. She is mine, and I want her and will always want her, but she just can’t see that. She says she’ll never be enough but the fact that I can’t make her believe how much I want her and love her shows I’m the one who isn’t enough.”

Tim is a stand-up guy; he is a brilliant friend and a true gentleman. He is funny and kind and has been a rock to me these past few months when my own confidence was rocked. He calls me his little sister, and I am blessed to regard him as my big brother.

Now, my big brother needs help, and I know just the woman to help us. I call my sister; she should be at work downstairs but Christmas is a busy time for her so I just want to check if it's okay to bring Tim down for a chat and advice session first.

“Of course, bring him down. I am actually sitting with Lol at the moment; she has had her heart broken too and I could do with some reinforcements right now. We are in the back room, come straight in.”

We take the back steps into the café. Billie is always telling me off for not using the front door, but it's cold out; I don’t see the point in walking all the way around when I can just slip through.

I can hear Lol crying as we approach. I have met her a load of times from helping Billie at weekends and of course Open Mic Night and she has always seemed quiet and assured; it's strange to hear her crying.

As we walk through the door, Tim stops, causing me to knock into him. “Lauren? What are you doing here?”

Lol’s cries stop as she looks back in shock. “Tim? How did you know where to find me?”

“Do you two know each other?” my sister asks as she rises from her seat. And then it clicks… Tim calls her Lauren but to us she is Lol Outloud; she did tell us it was her pen name, but I'd never actually asked her what her real name was. She was Lol and she suited it.

“Lol… you’re Lauren? Tim’s Lauren?” I ask her, and she nods her head to me while closing her eyes to allow her tears to freely fall.

“He’s the man you’re in love with? The one you stupidly turned down last night?” my sister questions Lol, and she cries harder as she nods again. “Well, I think this is fate giving you a sign, Lol. Take the opportunity or live with the regret, sweetie. He’s absolutely crazy about you. Allow yourself to be loved and to be happy. You are the sweetest girl I know. This is your time now.”

Lol wipes her face and turns to stand facing Tim. “I’m scared of not being enough and I dread that one day you’ll regret choosing me.”

Tim steps towards her. “I told you once and I’ll tell you again; I’ll tell you every fucking day if I have to, Lauren. You are more than enough; you are everything I have ever wanted. You're all I have ever dreamed of. I love you. I love every single part of you. And if you walk away now, I will have to accept it, but I will always love you and fancy you, whether you agree to be mine or not.”

Oh my God, Tim is so sweet! I can feel the unconditional and irrevocable love he has for Lol; I hope she can feel it, too. It would be a crying shame if these two amazing people couldn’t find a way to be together.

“I am yours, Tim. I love you, too. I am sorry for running away, but this is scary. I don’t know if my doubts about myself will ever go away, and I don’t want to hurt you with my pain and insecurities.”

“Lauren, can you trust me? Can you trust me as a grown man in love with you to do the right thing? To support you and love you and to know my own mind?” Lauren nods back to Tim. “Then marry me. I love you, insecurities and all. I will remind you when those feelings and thoughts get too much, that no matter what, you are beautiful, kind and most importantly you are enough.”

I pass Tim the ring box back, and he gets back down on one knee.

“This isn’t how I imagined asking you to marry me. I want to give you the world. Lauren, I love you with all my heart, please say yes.”

There is a short silence before Lauren quickly nods, crying again but this time there is joy mingled with her pain. “Yes, I will marry you.”

There is a collective cheer not just inside the back room but within the whole of Tables & Fables; naturally, everyone had been listening in.

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