Page 15 of Festive Flings

I know I have messed up my chance with Jamie when she looks at me outside the restaurant. The look in her eyes as she screams at me haunts me all night. Anger, repulsion and hurt is etched all over her face and in turn I am ashamed for contributing to those feelings.

I never want to be the reason she feels that way. I only ever want her to be happy. So when she says that she thinks mixing business and pleasure is a bad idea, I quickly agree so she doesn’t know how hurt I am by her rejection. I would rather be her friend than not have her in my life. It is a bitter pill to swallow; I had felt so close and now, I know, I have no chance of making something with her.

Tim tries to speak to me a couple of times about it all, but I shut him down. I am just about keeping it together, but if I start talking about how I feel about her, I don’t think I will ever stop. I need to accept it will never happen, and that belief is reinforced when I step out of my office to overhear Jamie and Tim agreeing to set each other up on a date for tomorrow night.

“Can you two get some work done, please!” I shout sharply before going back into my own office. I am acting like a right scrooge, green is not a good colour on me, but I am jealous. I want her but I can’t have her.

I call one of my old hook ups. Maybe being with someone else will help me move on. All I know is I can’t stand feeling like this. I arrange to take Suzy for drinks tomorrow night. It’ll keep my mind off things and hopefully I will have some fun.

Around 4 p.m., Jamie comes into my office to give me the rundown for the trip to Copenhagen next week. Her hair has come loose from the severe bun from earlier, she looks adorable.

“There is a massive block right in the middle of your trip, Mr. Matthews, where you have no appointments, but I couldn't get them moved so it will be three nights, not two.”

“That’s no problem, it’s beautiful this time of year. I’ll find something to do.” She gives me a brilliant smile back.

“You’ve been before? Did you visit the palaces? It’ll be my first time, I am hoping I get time to go to the Christmas markets at Tivoli Gardens, I’ve heard they are the best in the world.” I smile at her enthusiasm and at the joy she finds in something so simple.

“They are pretty spectacular. I’m sure you’ll get plenty of time to go and explore.”

I could offer to show her around, to take her to all the places I knew she would enjoy but I need to put space between us so I can move on.

“I will be taking my flexi-time tomorrow afternoon. I have plans with a friend and I want to leave early, so I will need you to lock up as you leave.”

She stands up, and I can’t help but admire the suit she is wearing. It fits her perfectly and makes her look strong and confident.

“No problem, Mr. Matthews. Enjoy your time with your friend.” She seems to float out of my office, and I can do nothing but watch her leave.

The following day, I groan when she walks in and I see she has made an extra effort for her date. She laughs and jokes with the others in the office, and I internally scream for the clock to hurry up. At 1 p.m., I am leaving to pick up Suzy, but the minutes start to feel like hours.

Finally, when one o’clock arrives, I practically rush out. Jamie shouts goodbye to me and reminds me to have a good weekend.

Hopefully, I will be balls deep in Suzy in a few short hours and Jamie will be a distant memory.

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