Page 29 of Festive Flings

“Cum for me, Jamie. I want to feel your pussy clench my fingers as you cum. Then when we get back to the hotel, I’m having my dessert. I am going to lick up every drop of nectar you squirt out for me.” She falls to pieces in my hands as she surrenders to her climax; she looks amazing, so strong, so sexual and so goddamn gorgeous. When she has finished, I remove my hand and lick my fingers; she is the sweetest honey. “Open your mouth for me, gorgeous. Taste how delicious you are.” Her eyes are stunned and dazed, but she does as I ask.

As her little pink tongue skims my finger, I can only dream of how it will feel for her to use her tongue on me. Hopefully, I won’t have to wait too long to find out.

She delights me by sitting on my lap. “I can feel how hard you are. I know you want me as much as I want you, Owen.”

“I want you in every way, babe, but let’s take this back to the hotel. I can’t wait any longer to be naked with you.”

~ Lauren ~

I have spent so much time with Tim this week: almost every day we have either met for lunch or watched a Christmas film together at home, both his and mine, in the evening. He seems to like a lot of similar things to me, and I’ve never laughed so much or had so much fun. I keep pinching myself; surely this cannot be right. A handsome, funny, and caring man spending time with me?

When I am with Tim, I can be myself, and that comes as a massive shock to me. I am a masker; I mask so that people don’t see the real me. It doesn’t hurt so much when I am judged for something that is not true, but it cripples me when people have me nailed and criticise me for the true me.

With Tim, I catch myself being myself. I am so comfortable around him, and he makes me feel so good about who I am, that I am less afraid for him to see what is behind the façade. He is such an amazing man that I cannot comprehend how and why he is interested in me. He could do so much better.

Tim has been very respectful towards me. I know that people tend to jump into physical relationships, but that is not my style. My mother is deeply religious, and being from Northern Ireland, it would be a sin for her daughter to go about cavorting. However, I have also never found anyone until now who I wanted to be intimate with. I have had the opportunity on a couple of occasions, but I held back; it wasn’t a part of me I was comfortable sharing.

Until I met Tim.

Now, I am having all sorts of feelings deep inside that have continued to grow over the past few days. I think I might be ready to take things further than kissing but I know Tim is waiting for the cue from me.

I have no idea what I am doing. I haven’t told him I’m still a virgin. I am worried that this might scare him off. Maybe I don’t have to tell him? If it gets to the point where we do sleep together, maybe I could just tell him afterwards. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, right?

One thing that has happened is that my writing has improved. I have ideas simply pouring out of me and not enough time to write. Even my circle of online writing friends are noticing the difference in me. They keep asking who has put a smile on my face and inspired me. It's almost like meeting Tim and allowing him to see the real me has broken down all the barriers not only in my personal and private life but in my professional and creative life too.

Tonight is the first night I haven’t seen him, but Billie from Tables & Fables is holding an impromptu Open Mic Night since she has cancelled the one for Saturday as her husband is whisking her away for a romantic weekend. I sit with my writer friends; I am here to support them tonight. I am not ready to share my writing in this way yet.

Tables & Fables at Christmas has just got to be the most magical place ever. With the log burner roaring away, the festive lights and decorations everywhere creating an ambience of festive cheer, the Christmas music in the background and the delicious smells coming from the kitchen, it is one of my favourite places to be. I would love to bring Tim here, but for now I haven’t told him about my alter ego, Lol Outloud, and everyone here knows me as that. I would show him this side in a heartbeat; Tim isn’t the issue. The issue is everyone here seeing Tim with me and wondering what the hell he is doing slumming it with me.

Open Mic Night is not a usual way for authors to drum up interest. Outside of Tables & Fables, I don’t know another place that does it. This is a novel way of generating interest in our work; you get up and recite a passage or a chapter that is meant to draw people in. They make a connection not only with the story and the characters you write about, but they get to know you, too. If you can win over the crowd, they request that you recite every time you’re here. If you can get the crowd to relate to you, you generally have a fan for life. They will invest in you as well as your product.

Tim asked me about my writing, and I was shy at first about explaining to him that I am a steamy paranormal romance writer. I write full-time and have made a bit of success with it. I have never gone the traditional publishing method, preferring to write online on episodic platforms and sometimes I self-publish. I have a small cache of books now, but they have failed to reach the heights of my peers. I often wonder why. I beat myself up for chasing a dream that I may not be talented enough for. I doubt myself and criticise not only myself but my characters, the worlds I build and the storylines I develop. Surely, if they were worth something, people would see that?

One of my writer friends told me that my negativity about myself comes across in my writing and that prevents me from being successful and relatable. But how do I change the way I feel about myself and therefore about what I create?

My friend, Rochelle, knocks me, bringing me out of my daydream. “Lol, it’s my turn. Mind my bag for me, will you?” she says as dashes up to the stage. The place is jam-packed, and I sit and watch Rochelle both with pride and with a little envy too. The crowd loves her; she is a crowd puller and rightly so. She is confident and talented and has no qualms about sharing her work with whoever will listen.

Tonight, Rochelle shares a recent chapter she wrote for her latest work of art which is centred around vampires. She makes vampires sexy like no other person I’ve ever met, but then, Rochelle has that effect. She once wrote a romance novel about aliens, and afterwards, I wanted an alien to come and whisk me away too. Rochelle is very sexualised in the way she presents, which again is a crowd pleaser. The men fantasise about being with her, and the women, like me, want to be her. She is up in front of a crowd of over 200 people simulating her female lead reaching orgasm; she writhes on the stool and moans and groans loudly.

My face turns a deep crimson as I simultaneously cringe at her words and blatant display and feel shame that I am also aroused by what she is both saying and doing. Rochelle looks like a goddess up there. As she builds up her orgasm, she throws her head back, exposing the dark, flawless skin on her neck. Her small, rounded breasts jut out perfectly as she does it. Her nipples, visible under the light, stand hard against the fabric restraining them. Everyone is in raptures. Rochelle makes it easy to feel like you are in her story; you are the lead and that is your orgasm.

Billie sits in Rochelle’s vacated seat. “I’m going to have to start paying her; I swear half the people here only come for her porn,” she tells me merrily. We have all joked in the past about Rochelle’s ability to turn everyone into a lust-filled sex maniac. “Why aren’t you getting up, Lol? I read your latest chapters online… you are on fire, girl. You are writing some amazing stuff at the moment. I read some out to Jonty last night, and he couldn’t keep his hands off me; he was so turned on. I’m loving the relationship between Cathy and Nick. I think the crowd would go wild for it.”

I love Billie. She has been a staunch follower of mine, and she has a great influence in the online network. If she recommends a book or an author, readers listen. They know she is straight-talking and honest in her critique. She has pulled me up many times about holding back in my writing. She is actually the first, and only, person to guess that I am still a virgin from my writing. She asked for a private word one day regarding a sex scene I had written, and she asked a couple of questions about it and then whispered, “Lol… are you a virgin?” When I told her I was she gave me a few pointers on why she had noticed. Now, if anything is off or doesn’t come across right, she’ll give me the heads up. She has never told anyone my secret, and I appreciate that so much.

“Not yet, Billie; I’m too shy,” I tell her for the hundredth time.

She holds her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, just hear me out. How about I read for you next week? You could get some little business cards made directing people to your work, and I will just say I’ve been asked to perform it because you love my voice. Think it over, and let me know by Monday so I can exercise the old vocal cords.” I nod and tell her I’ll think about it. “Lol, I honestly think it's your time to shine, sweetheart. Take a chance.”

It all sounds so simple, but lately all I seem to be taking is chances, and I worry: what will happen when my luck runs out?

The journey home is cold and dark. It’s the only part I hate about Open Mic Night in the winter. It wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t alone. I instantly think of Tim and him joining that part of my life, too, where Lol and Lauren merge. I think I’ll have to wait and see if things turn serious. I am seeing him again tomorrow night, and I am really looking forward to it. I think I am going to start to take things further; Rochelle has left me in a wanton state that I have to suffer through on this rumbling bus home.

Maybe Tim won’t be scared off by the fat virgin?

~ Tim ~

This week is flying by. Since Saturday, I have spent time with Lauren every day, and yet it feels like it isn’t enough. I miss her and just want to spend more time with her.

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