Page 47 of Between the Flames

“And when you found me? What was your plan, then?”

He grunted. “I don’t know. I didn’t have a plan. I just wanted to be near you, even if it was from afar.”

I contemplated his words, looking up at him to study his features. “If I hadn’t run, would you have kissed me?”

“Yes,” he stated, a smirk pulling at his lips. I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling.

“You had a girlfriend. My friend.” I narrowed my eyes at him for good measure.

“I know. I had planned on breaking up with her, though. You were who I wanted.”

Taking a deep breath, I leaned into him again, inhaling his scent and wrapping my arms around his middle. I was at war with myself on whether I wanted to hear all of this. Rehashing the past was reopening the wounds, and I suddenly felt like I would rather just put it behind me and move forward. I was so conflicted.

“Elle, you have to understand. I was eighteen, fatherless, and trying to do the right thing by my kid. My father didn’t do the right thing by me, and I was terrified of ending up like him. I sacrificed something that I wanted more than I wanted the air in my lungs, for my son, but I always kept you—the memory of you, locked tight and hidden. I never forgot about you, despite knowing that I should. I forced myself to push you out of my thoughts for Lily’s sake, but our marriage was over long before we decided to separate. It was only after seeing you at the pub that I really let my thoughts wander back to you and let myself fantasize what my life could be like with you in it. And now that I have you, I’m not letting you go for anything. Ever. So when you feel like you need to scream at me? Scream. Want to hit me? Beat the shit out of me. I probably deserve it. I’ll take any piece of you that I can get, the good or the bad.”

The fact that he didn’t hold back in telling me everything spoke volumes about the type of man that he had grown to become. I hated that our paths had parted, but was beginning to see that maybe all of my pain had been worth it. My eyes grew heavy with unshed tears and I could feel the final piece of brick around my heart come crumbling down; a finality to it that brought me a new sense of hope.

“Say you’ll give me a chance to make it up to you?” he asked, his voice low, his eyes sparkling down at me as he brushed away a piece of hair that had fallen onto my face.

Life was complicated, but he was what I wanted. He always had been. It was time for me to put everything on the line. I bounced up to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Of course I will, Ryder. I’ve lived my life without you and there’s always been a piece of me missing. You make me feel whole.”

His fingertips caressed my thigh. “Oh beautiful, you have no idea.”

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