Page 19 of Between the Flames

Leaning down, she planted a wet, lip-glossy kiss on my cheek. “Love you, bitch. Write him back.” She tossed me a wink on her way out, letting the door slam behind her. I chuckled to myself as I wiped the sticky gloss off my cheek and went over to my door to lock it behind her.

My best friend was a firecracker, but I loved her dearly for it.

* * *

Sittingin the darkness of my studio, the only light that illuminated came from the screen of my phone as I reread the message from Ryder. We were now approaching the two-hour mark of not responding and my subconscious told me that I needed to reply soon, or not at all. I was still within the acceptable window where I could play off my lack of response due to being distracted, but waiting much longer would force me to either not respond at all, or look like I had been severely overthinking this response. Which I was, but he certainly wouldn’t need to know that. Although now that I was thinking about my overthinking, I realized there was about a one percent chance he was even thinking about my impending response.

He was, after all, a married man with a child. Surely he wasn’t sitting on the other end of his phone staring at the screen like I was. I exhaled, mustering up my courage and typed out a response.

Elle Peters:Hey! It’s been forever! I’ve been good. Busy, but good! How about you?

I clicked send before I chickened out.

My jaw hit the floor as his tiny circular photo popped up next to my message immediately, indicating he had read it. Equally as fast, another message appeared on my screen.

Ryder Thompson:Been good. My son Jordan is eight now. I started a contracting company a while back, so that’s been keeping me busy.

No mention of Lily… weird.

Elle Peters:Wow! That’s awesome. Still living in Shadow Hills?

I slapped my palm to my forehead. Why did I just ask him that?!

Ryder Thompson: Yeah. Still in L.A.?

My heart skipped a beat. He remembered where I moved to.

Elle Peters: Nope, actually I moved to Ridgewood a few years ago. It was close enough to coming home without coming home.

Ryder Thompson: Why didn’t you want to come home?

My fingers lingered over the touch screen keyboard of my phone, not sure how to answer. I couldn’t tell him that I didn’t come home because of him, because I couldn’t bear to see his happy family and my heart wouldn’t be able to heal from that.

No, I couldn’t tell him that, obviously.

But what could I say?

What lie was good enough to let fall from my lips that also harbored some semblance of the truth? Because the entire reason that I avoid Shadow Hills is because I need to continue avoiding him. It had been eight years, but I was wholly confident that if I saw him, my entire being would crumble.

And if I saw him with his family?

I would turn to dust and simply cease to exist.

So what could I say? How could I respond to him without spewing the bitter truth: that Shadow Hills was the place I avoided because running into him would be salt in the wound that still hadn’t fully healed after eight years.

Elle Peters: Because it wasn’t home anymore.

Ha. Good answer, Elle.

Grinning triumphantly, I mentally patted myself on the back. My smile instantly fell though, when I read the response that came through just as quickly as I had sent mine.

Ryder Thompson: I get that. It’s felt like something was missing for a long time now.

I stared at my phone, rereading his message thirty times before I finally sat the phone down next to me on the couch.

The overthinking was happening again, and I analyzed every single potential meaning within that message.

What’s been missing? Did he mean me? Did he miss me? Had something else happened in Shadow Hills that I hadn’t been aware of? I had asked my parents not to tell me anything about anything, so maybe I missed something. Were he and Lily still married? He hadn’t said anything about her, but did mention their son.

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