Page 145 of Stolen Fate
“It’s okay. You were just worried about Elliot.”
“But it seemed like an overreaction to you, right?”
I bit my lip but didn’t say anything. I always knew Elliot wasn’t the only one with separation anxiety. I always thought Jace had it because of what happened to Elliot before, but this felt like there was so much more to it.
“Before Elliot was born, Camila and I had a son together.”
My eyes widened in horror, seeing where he was going with this. I had thought Elliot was an only child, but if his older brother wasn’t here, then it could only mean one thing.
“Jace…”
He shook his head, stopping me. “Hold on, baby. Just… let me get this all out, okay?”
I nodded, mostly because I knew whatever he was going to say was hard for him.
“Elijah was born prematurely. Two months. He was supposed to be safe and protected for those two extra months, but there was a complication with her pregnancy, and Elijah was born. He was absolutely perfect, and so, so small that I was afraid to even touch him. Afraid that just a small pressure from me, and he’d break.”
I moved my arms around his waist and held him to me. Jace leaned down to kiss my forehead, though he still had a faraway look in his eyes.
“He was the most perfect little baby I had ever met.” He looked down and met my eyes, smiling a little when he added, “Next to Elliot of course.”
I smiled back and pulled him in tighter.
“I didn’t believe in love at first sight, but I fell in love with both of my sons at first sight. Which was ironic, considering I spent the majority of Camila’s pregnancy resenting her and resenting the fact that she was pregnant.” At my look of confusion, he added, “She got pregnant on purpose, so that I would marry her and provide a life for her.”
“What?”
“Yeah. You didn’t think I was in love with her, did you?”
I shook my head. “I thought you’d loved her at first. And maybe you’d just fallen out of love.”
“No, baby. There is nothing lovable about Camila.”
“Well, sometimes, we fall in love and there’s no choice.”
He looked at me then, and he smiled. “Yeah. I know.”
And I had a feeling he was talking about me. I didn’t want to ask him to clarify because I knew he needed to finish the story, but my heart was beating erratically inside my chest.
Jace let out a tired sigh. “I knew I didn’t have to marry her, but the thought of leaving my son or daughter with her at the time didn’t sit well with me. That woman doesn’t have a single maternal bone in her body, and I knew any child of mine would be miserable with her as their mother. So I married her. I gave her what she wanted. Perhaps there was another way. Perhaps I didn’t have to marry her. Whatever it was, I didn’t think of it. All I cared about was making sure my child would be safe from her. Yet, I had resented it. I didn’t love Elijah when he was still inside his mother. But that all changed the very moment he was born and I got to meet him for the first time.”
Jace’s expression changed to one of torture, and I knew he wasn’t over what happened to Elijah. Though I wondered if you could ever get over it. Get over the death of a child.
“He was nine months old when he passed.”
Though I knew where the story was going, I was still struck by the words. “What happened?”
“SIDS,” he said quietly.
“You know it’s not your fault, right? The cause of SIDS is unknown, and sometimes it just happens.”
“Yeah? It didn’t make me feel any better knowing that back then, and I still don’t feel better now.”
I nodded. “I know.”
And I did know.
“I think that was the worst part. To know there wasn’t anything I could have done to prevent it. Most cases happen before the baby reaches six months of age. He was nine. And he was healthy. And happy. And I—” Jace choked on the last word, and I moved in even closer to him, comforting him in the only way I knew how.
