Page 48 of The Ruthless and the Strong

I wondered if he understood just how deep my feelings went for him, that no matter what he did or had done, I would get over it. I would look past it. Perhaps I did place him high on a pedestal. I wondered how deep the disappointment would be when he fell.

Something occurred to me then. “You’re not seeing anyone, are you?”

Olivia had said he wasn’t, but I doubted he actually told her everything that went on in his personal life.

He frowned at me. “Do you really think I would have kissed you if I was?”

I looked down. “Sorry. I just had to ask. You know I’m not seeing anyone.”

I didn’t need to bring up my impending divorce. That was the big elephant in the room that we didn’t talk about. I wondered what Max would think if he knew just how much of an impact he’d had on my divorce. Not that I would tell him that.

“No, Lizzie. I’m not seeing anyone.”

I smiled a little at that. I looked down at my lap.

He continued. “I haven’t been in a serious relationship in years. Perhaps that makes me sound like an asshole.”

My gaze moved to him then. “Years?”

He nodded. “Long before you even moved to California.”

Something in his eyes shifted, but before I could figure what it was, it was gone.

“What about Lauren?”

His eyebrows pulled together slightly. “How did you know about Lauren?”

“Did you forget? I saw you with her at the movies when I took Henry that one time. It was at the beginning of my freshman year at college.”

Recognition entered his eyes. “That’s right.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t remember.”

He shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. “I guess that wasn’t an important night to me.”

I nodded, looking away from him. That wasn’t an important night to him, but that was the night my life changed.

Max placed his fingers under my chin and lifted until I looked back up at him. “What is it?” he asked.

Of course, he caught on. The man hardly ever missed anything. “That night had been imprinted on my brain for years.”

His frown deepened. “Why?”

“Because it changed everything for me. That was the night I decided to stop waiting for you. It was the night I texted Sam and told him I would go out on a date with him. He had been asking me for weeks before that, and I’d always turned him down, so sure that if I waited long enough, you would finally see me.”

In an attempt to forget about Max, I had agreed to sleep with Sam on our first night. I hadn’t been pressured into sleeping with Sam, because despite the end to our marriage, Sam was a good man. He had taken me out on a date. I couldn’t even remember what we had done, but when he dropped me off at my dorm room that night, I had been the one to kiss him. I had been the one to invite him in.

That was the night the condom broke and Hunter happened.

“Lizzie.”

I shook my head, smiling a little, but even I could tell it was a sad smile. “Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t said yes to Sam. He deserved far more than what I had given him over the years. It was no surprise our marriage ended so quickly.” He opened his mouth but I shook my head. Max shut it and took me in. “But I don't regret it. Not at all. Because I got Hunter in the end and he’s the best thing to have ever happened to me.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I never thought you would regret Hunter.”

My lips trembled and I hated that I was getting emotional again. I didn’t want to show Max this side of me, not when he was so composed. But then he pulled me into his arms and I could feel a slight tremor in them, so he probably wasn’t as composed as I thought he was.

I buried my face in his chest, taking in his comforting scent. Even after all these years, he still smelled the same. He still had the power to make me feel calm from the simplestgesture, and I wondered how I had gone so long without seeing him. How I could have put so much distance between us and was able to ignore the pain.

I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling the ache ease in my lungs. It felt like I had been drowning this whole time and did not know it, and now, letting out that first breath felt nothing short of a blessing.

I wanted to stay in his arms.

---