Page 47 of The Ruthless and the Strong

“You kissed me and you sent me home,” I said, and though I tried not to sound bitter or hurt from the rejection, I knew I’d failed when his blue eyes flared in surprise. He moved over to me and I looked at him with wary eyes.

I didn’t think I could handle it if he rejected me again. Not when it had taken everything I had this morning just to make the walk halfway to his house.

“You know I sent you home not because I didn’t want you, right?”

I shrugged. How the hell would I know that? It felt like it, and it brought back all those feelings from before, when I had thought Max saw me as nothing more than Olivia’s best friend. That could still be the case. I didn’t even know why he kissed me on my wedding day. To show me that I didn’t love Sam and that the marriage would be a mistake?

I didn’t know.

But I was a heap of confusing emotions.

“You’re a really confusing man, you know that?”

He frowned a bit and moved his finger down gently on the side of my face. I tried not to close my eyes from the feel of it. To show him just how badly that one small action from him affected me.

“I don’t mean to be confusing.”

“Well, you are. Now you want to talk? Well, then, talk. Do you like me?”

He shot me an indulgent smile. “Of course I like you.”

I rolled my eyes at that. “I don’t mean as a friend. I mean, do you like me, like me?”

My cheeks burned from the words. Now I was using words from the playground. The next thing I knew, I would be passing him a note with the question and hand-drawn crooked squares, with the words Yes and No on the side.

Max raised an eyebrow up at that, but he didn’t bother to hide his amusement. “I like you, Lizzie.”

His words hung heavily in the air between us. I shook my head. “I don’t know what to do with that information,” I admitted. “I don’t know what to do with a man like you.”

“Do whatever you want with me. I’ll lay myself down for you.”

“You say it like it’s easy.”

“It is easy.”

“No, it’s not. Nothing about you is easy.”

He didn’t say anything to that, only watched me closely. I squirmed in my seat. “A relationship with me won’t be easy,” he said, surprising me. “You’re probably right about that. Maybe you should stay away from me. I’m not good for you, Lizzie.”

I frowned. “Why do you see yourself so badly?”

I didn't realize that until now. I’d never seen it. Not when I had this image of Max in my head as someone perfect and good. Someone I could always depend on, no matter what. I’d thought I was seeing things when I saw the self-deprecation in his eyes at dinner that night. But that wasn’t the case.

I cupped his cheek and he stilled, his eyes looking deep into mine. He moved closer to me, and I wondered if he was even aware of that.

“You’ve always been so self-assured,” I said. “So perfect. I’ve wanted nothing more than to be protected by you, since I was little. Even when I didn’t understand what it meant to love someone, I loved you.”

He leaned in close and nuzzled my palm. “You shouldn’t place me on a pedestal.”

My hand dropped and I looked off to the side. I had placed him on a pedestal. Especially in my teen years, when I had looked at the word through rose-tinted glasses, but even after, when I grew up. Even during my marriage.

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” he said.

I shook my head. “You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

I shrugged. “I guess disappointment is a part of life. The thing is whether or not I can get over it.”

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