* * *

By the timeI got home, I noticed Mason’s car in the driveway.

I wasn’t surprised when I let myself in and found Olivia there, sitting on the couch. She looked fine at first glance, until I got closer and found her fist around the throw pillow. If she clenched any harder, the pillow would deteriorate in her tiny hand.

Mason was in the kitchen, boiling water in a teapot.

He met eyes with me as I walked past the room, his eyes tinged with worry. I didn’t need him to tell me the officer had stopped by to talk to Olivia. Did they really think she would have a hand in his death?

Fucking bastards.

I walked directly to her, crouching down in front of her to look up at those soulful brown eyes. I had sworn I would always protect her. I’d failed, and now it was my actions that had brought that sad look on her face.

I grabbed her hands between mine. “Okay, kiddo?”

“Max.” Her lips trembled. “Lorenzo’s dead.”

“How do you feel about that?” I asked carefully.

She didn’t say anything for a moment or two. Then in a small voice, she said, “Does it make me a terrible person to say I’m not sad about it?”

A choked noise started up at the back of my throat. “Terrible? My Olivia can’t be terrible even if she tries.”

“But I—” She took a deep breath, as if to gather her thoughts. “I’m glad he’s gone. The world is a better place without him in it. That makes me terrible. He was still a human being.”

“Baby, he was a monster. It’s as you said. The world is a better place without him in it.”

She nodded.

“I don’t want you to think about this any further. Being glad that monster is no longer in this world doesn’t make you a terrible human being. It just makes you a human being, with thoughts and feelings. It means you went through something horrible in your teens, and unlike the bastard who did those horrible things to you, you didn’t let that one thing define you. You came out of it stronger, and I am so proud each and every day of the woman you have become.”

“You really don’t look down on me?”

“Never,” I said fiercely. “Never have and never will.”

She smiled a little, though her eyes were wet from unshed tears. I watched as one dripped down her cheek. Fuck, I hated seeing her cry.

I wiped it away with my thumb. “Why are you crying, kiddo?”

“I don’t know. I guess when they told me he died, and from suicide, I was so relieved. But it also brought back all those feelings again. Those terrible memories. Every time I close my eyes, I can still see him on top of me, t-touching me. I feel dirty.”

The last part was said in whispers, but I heard her.

Fuck, I heard her loud and clear.

I didn’t think. I moved up to the couch and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her in close. She buried her face in my chest, and it brought back all those memories of her growing up. Of how every time she was scared of something, she would come to me, seeking out my protection. She hadn’t come to me since she’d married Mason, and I hadn’t realized how much I missed being such an integral part in her life until now.

I kissed the top of her head. “Listen to me, Olivia.” I tightened my arms around her. “You are not dirty. You are not defined by another person’s actions. What he did to you was wrong. And terrible. You didn’t deserve that and it’s not you. You are my beautiful Olive, and you will always be, understand?”

I could feel her nodding against me, but I knew my words weren’t getting to her. Nothing would but time, and I would give her all the time in the world if that was what it took.

A movement to my left caught my attention, and I looked up and found Mason standing there, the teacups in his hands, and a world of devastation in his blue eyes.

We never wanted to see her hurting. But she was.

And now, I questioned my own actions.

Should I have done it? There were other choices I could have made. There was always a choice, and I chose the easiest one and ended the fucker’s life. But now it was coming back to haunt us.