Page 109 of The Ruthless and the Strong

My mom didn’t want that.

She choose to put those views before me. And I didn’t know how to look past that.

I shook my head. “You still don’t get it, do you? There’s nothing shameful about giving birth to a baby out of wedlock. I didn’t feel ashamed of getting pregnant at nineteen. Not until you made me feel ashamed.”

“I know,” she cried out, moving closer to me. I took a step back and she stopped. I ignored the way her eyes glinted in pain. Ignored everything else.

“I only wanted to please you,” I said. “I got caught up in wanting to make you happy that I had sacrificed my own happiness to make it so. And I hated myself for it because I only ended up hurting a really good man.”

I knew a lot of this had stemmed from her need to please her parents as well.

I didn’t hate her for it, but fuck, I wished I had been stronger. That I had gone against her wish and fought for my own happiness, but I didn’t. I had caved under the slightest pressure, and now that it was all out in the open, I didn’t know how to go back and pretend everything was fine between us.

I had thought I could.

But I couldn’t.

The worst part of it, my grandparents didn’t even live in the U.S. anymore. They moved back to Japan as soon as my mom had graduated with her master’s in mechanical engineering.

She moved forward and grabbed my arm gently in her hands. I didn’t have the heart to push her away, but I realized I was crying. She cupped my cheeks and wiped away my tears, bringing back those childhood memories of her doing this exact same thing for me.

My mom wasn’t a bad mom.

But she made a terrible mistake, and her being a bad mom or good mom became irrelevant in light of those mistakes.

“Please forgive me, baby.”

I shook my head. “No,” I cried, the tears coming out faster.

She made a choking noise. “Lizzie.”

“I can’t forgive you now. Okay? And I need you to be okay with that. But I will forgive you someday. Just… give me time.”

I pulled my arm away from her and quickly climbed in my car. I drove away, leaving her there in the parking lot. I only looked back once before I took a turn and she disappeared out of sight.

* * *

By the timeI’d gotten home, my tears had dried, and I only looked a little like I had been crying.

But Max would be able to see right through me, and though I planned on telling him about the conversation with my mom, I didn’t have the energy to do it now.

I didn’t really have anything to worry about, because Max was in the shower anyway, and Hunter was still asleep. I had packed an overnight bag for him last night so we didn’t have to worry about going back to Olivia’s place.

He had about fifteen more minutes before I actually had to wake him up for school, so I went inside Max’s bedroom and sat on the bed.

The clothes he was planning on wearing today were set out on the bed, and I ran my hand over the fabric. I looked toward the bathroom, my mood lifting a bit at the sight of this normalcy, my normalcy, and I knew things would be okay.

It wasn’t like I was questioning where we were heading, but I hoped he’d meant what he said when said he was keeping me.

I didn’t want him to let me go again. Not after six years of separation.

I lifted his shirt off the bed and brought it to my nose, taking in a huge sniff. It smelled like his laundry detergent. Comforting, but I loved his natural scent more. So I place the shirt back down, and smoothed my hand over it to prevent wrinkles.

I stopped when my hand came across something hard.

I frowned and looked at the bathroom door. By the sound of it, he was still taking a shower, and I didn’t want to be one of those girlfriends who snooped, but I was curious. I found the hard object in the pocket of his suit jacket.

My hands shook when I got an inkling of what it could be, and when I pulled out a small square jewelry box, I knew.

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