Page 24 of The Young & the Sinner

I closed the locker door. “I need to get to class.”

I made a move to walk away when she grabbed my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks. I didn’t turn around. “We have to talk about this sometimes, Olivia. Just because she’s your mom, doesn’t mean you’re bound to make her mistakes.”

“I know that already.” And I really did. “I’m fine, I promise you.”

I moved away and her hand fell from my shoulder just as the minute bell rang, indicating class would begin soon.

Lizzie’s words rang in my ears.

I was not my mom. I knew that. I did. I just didn’t want to make the same bad decisions she made. My dad walked away because he found out she was cheating on him. About a month after he left, my mom drunk-dialed him. She didn’t think to speak softly. Granted, I was supposed to be asleep at that time, but who could sleep with all the ruckus she caused with her drunken stupor?

I only heard her side of the conversation, but it was enough for me to piece together the story. I didn’t know how she could tell my dad that she loved him every night and be with another man. Sometimes, I wanted to asked Max about it. I was sure he knew the story behind their broken marriage. But I always lost the courage to do it. In the end, I kept my silence, but I made a vow to myself that day.

I would never be like her.

I didn’t want to be. And dating Lorenzo while thinking about Mason sounded like a bad idea waiting to happen. It wouldn’t be fair to Lorenzo, and I didn’t see how I could be happy in a relationship with someone who would be my second choice. There was only a couple of weeks left in the school year, anyhow. I wouldn’t have to see Lorenzo ever again. I heard him mention a couple of weeks back that he was going to Yale. There was no reason for us to start anything.

Hopefully by this time next year, I wouldn’t feel so lost.

* * *

The weeks flew by,and in a blink of an eye, the last day of school had arrived. At least, for the seniors. The lower classmen still had about another two weeks to go, but today was our last day.

I grabbed the trash bin near the girl’s bathroom and threw away all my old papers from the year. All of my textbooks had been returned, and my backpack was being filled with nothing but my playbooks.

I had always loved a good playwright. A Doll’s House had been my favorite since I was a little girl. Who knew the story I loved so much would play out in my own life? A parallel between Nora’s abandonment of her children in the play and my own mother leaving.

I supposed she always knew Max would take care of me. In more ways than one, I was always going to be better off with him than with a mom who didn’t care. Would others interpret her decision to leave as self-sacrificing in any way? Or was it just as it was: the simple abandonment of her child?

I sighed and stuffed the paperback into my backpack, zipping it up. That was the last of it. I wouldn’t be coming back to this school ever again. I never thought I would be graduating without either one of my parents by my side. And then I would be eighteen in July. In the eyes of the state, I would no longer be a child. I didn’t need an adult to take care of me.

So why did I feel so lost? I both dreaded and looked forward to my eighteenth birthday. I wondered if Max would see me as someone who didn’t need him anymore then.

But I would always need him.

As he suggested, we went to the see a therapist the first Monday that he was back from his trip. Dr Anna Greene got her Ph.D. at Harvard in clinical psychology, specializing mostly in family dynamics. She was one of the best in her field, and I knew Max paid a fortune to have her work with us.

We see her four times a week, always in the evenings when Max got home from work. Sometimes, we saw her together. Sometimes, I went by myself. Max really believed she would help me get over my abandonment issues, and I didn’t know how to tell him that I still wake up in the middle the night to sit right outside his room and listen in on him sleeping.

I shook out my depressing thoughts, closed my locker and turned to walk away, only to find someone in my way. Lorenzo stood in front of me, a single red rose in his hand. He held it out and I took it with a smile. Although he hadn’t asked me out on a date again, he had been more attentive. I saw him more in the past two weeks than I did in the past three years.

He even showed up during my last day of theater, helping the theater kids clean out all the props and put them away in storage. He was making it harder and harder for me to deny him.

Some days, I couldn’t even think of why I said no. Then Mason would show up at the house, and I would be reminded all over again.

Ever since Max’s birthday, Mason had been hanging around the house more often. I supposed Mason could’ve always hung out at Max’s house before, and I never noticed, but I got the feeling that they were there because Max didn’t want to leave me alone. He also thought it would be a good idea for Mason and me to become close. Like brother and sister.

Max told me that on several occasions, and I wasn’t sure if he was saying that because he knew about my crush on Mason or if he genuinely wished for that to be the case. If only he knew how unsisterly my feelings for Mason were.

“I was just looking for you,” Lorenzo said, bringing me back to the present.

“Well, you found me.”

“That I did.” He held out his hand. “Can I show you something?”

I hesitated a brief second before I took his hand with my free one, praying it wasn’t as sweaty as it felt.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

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