Page 174 of The Young & the Sinner

“Isn’t that what you did? Abandon me? I thought you loved me. And then you just left. Like it was nothing. And to know you have another family… daughters you could be there for? Well, that hurts.”

I looked down, and when something shiny caught my eye, I focused in on it. My breath caught, but I hoped he didn’t notice. He was wearing a gold wedding band. He was married. My dad was married. He left our family behind and started one of his own.

I wiped away the tears tracking down my cheeks, hating that I was breaking down in front of him. I should be strong. But like my mom, he had the power to make me crumble with even the slightest pressure.

“I’m sorry. I was young and foolish. If I could go back, I would do everything differently.”

“You’d take me with you?”

To my horror, he shook his head. Tears fell faster, and I knew we were causing a scene. I didn’t want to have a breakdown in public. I made a move to leave but he grabbed my hand, halting me.

“Please don’t leave, baby. I just got you to agree to talk to me again. Don’t leave like this. Let me explain.”

I pulled my hands away, but I didn’t leave. I hesitantly sat back down.

With a shuddering breath, he ran his fingers through his hair. Another nervous habit, I guessed.

“I wouldn’t take you with me. You wouldn’t have been happy with me. I needed to figure out what kind of man I was, and I knew I wasn’t fit to be a father to such a precious little girl. But I should have kept in contact. I should have been strong enough to leave your mom and stay for you, but I wasn’t, and for that, I’m sorry.”

“You should be. Do you have any idea what Mom was like after you left?”

“Sweetheart, she never…”

“What? Hurt me? No, of course not.” His shoulders relaxed a little, but I ignored the movement and continued. “But she was careless and an alcoholic. I had to clean up her mess. I had to pick up all the pieces you left behind when you decided to leave me with her.”

He shook his head. “But I didn’t leave you with her.” My eyes widened in disbelief and outrage. He held up his hand. “No, listen. I didn’t leave you with your mom. I left you with Max.”

“Max?”

“Yes. If anyone would stay for you, it was Max. I knew he loved you since the moment he held you in that hospital room.”

“No. You’re wrong. He loves me now, but not at the beginning. He only stayed because he was in love with Mom.”

“You really believe that?”

I had before. Now, I wasn’t so sure. I thought back to all those times with my mom and Max. And never once had I seen Max look at my mom the same way I looked at Mason.

I leaned back against the soft cushion.

“Perhaps he loved your mom when he was a teenager, but people change. We grow up, and the person we convinced ourselves we loved as kids is no longer that person. Max fell out of love with your mom a long time ago.”

“You don’t get it. I’m not his responsibility. I was yours.”

“You’re right. You were my responsibility. I did such a terrible job of it, I know. And I am so sorry. But you’re doing Max an injustice by referring to yourself as his responsibility. He had never looked at you like that.”

Dad grabbed some napkins from the dispenser and held them out to me. I took them to wipe my tears away. His eyes were soft when I looked back him again.

“Why did you leave? Was it so horrible that Mom cheated on you? Obviously, you cheated on her, too.”

“No, it wasn’t horrible that she cheated on me. I’m sorry you know about that, and that you know I cheated. I hope you don’t take this to mean all relationships are like that.”

I shook my head. I didn’t. I knew people were capable of committing to each other.

“I guess you can say my pride took a beating. It was one thing to cheat on me with a stranger—I didn’t have to see the man who took my wife to bed. It was another thing to cheat on me with a friend. And on our bed, no less.”

I frowned and Dad grimaced. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be saying any of these things to you.”

“Mom cheated on you with a friend? Was it Max?” I didn’t know how I would feel if it was.

I was relieved when he shook his head. “No.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

And then, to my utter horror, he said, “It was Mason.”

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