Page 164 of The Young & the Sinner

I wasn’t so sure.

I plastered on a smile I didn’t feel. Hopefully it was one Max couldn’t see through. “I know that.”

He opened his mouth, as if wanting to say something more, before he shut it again. And the strangest thing happened. Max pulled me into his arms and held me tight.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked him, my hands rubbing up and down his back.

“Yes, kiddo. I am. Just… I’m so glad to have you in my life. And I love you so much. More than anything and anyone in this world. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.”

I shook my head, my eyes getting misty. No, he had never told me that. I had always assumed he loved me because he loved my mom. That I somehow got lucky that love was transferred to me. Yet, hearing him say that, I realized he probably loved me more than he ever did my mom.

I buried my face in his chest, inhaling the comforting scent that was uniquely Maxwell Kade. It was my childhood and warmth and safety, all wrapped in one.

He kissed me on my head and pulled back. “Go to bed, sweetheart. You look exhausted.”

Did I? I didn’t feel exhausted.

I felt restless.

I nodded in agreement anyway. And with a lingering look shot his way, I walked upstairs, into my room. The expression he wore on his face as he watched me leave stayed on my mind the whole night, and I didn’t know what to make of it.

* * *

I didn’t geta chance to be see Mason until Wednesday evening.

With the semester finally ending, you would think I had more time in my day, but I had been picking up a lot of shifts at the grocery store.

Joe was short-staffed, and I was still undecided about where I wanted to live when school started back up in January. I was making up for the possibility that I could be leaving this job soon. It wouldn’t be convenient to commute to Joe’s Grocers from Hyde Park if that’s where I did decide to move.

A part of me wanted to move in with Mason. That way, if I didn’t see him during the day because of our busy schedules, I would be able fall asleep in his arms every night. It was much more than what I was getting now. But another part of me, a larger part, wanted to move out to an apartment of my own.

Growing up, I didn’t dare allow myself to even entertain such a thought. I knew we were poor and my mom was terrible with money. I knew my family didn’t have as much as Lizzie’s family, and I had come to terms with that. I got a job to help out with the bills, and when my mom was at her most careless, I saved like crazy for any rainy days that might come up.

I never told Max how I often went without food. How, even though my mom worked in a grocery store, she still rarely managed to bring home any groceries for us to eat. I never told him how close we actually came to losing the house. Had I not found those notices that one afternoon, we would have. After making arrangements to pay off the two months my mom owed to our mortgage, she promised she wouldn’t let herself fall behind ever again—that I didn’t need to worry.

Obviously, I didn’t believe her. And we ended up losing the house anyway. Only this time, she left the house and me behind before the bank could kick her out. The last I heard, our house was up for auction and was sold to a young couple for half of what I knew my parents had paid for it.

When I got home from work, I quickly changed out of my work clothes and put on some makeup. Nothing fancy. Some mascara and pink lipstick. My hands didn’t even shake when I brought the mascara wand to my eyelashes. I called this progress.

Dealing with my past assault was getting easier and easier every day. There were moments in my day when I was still haunted by what happened, but they were becoming few and far in between, and they didn’t get to me like they used to.

Not anymore.

And Dr Greene was right. I did come out of this stronger.

I smiled at my reflection in the mirror, grabbing my phone and running out to the house next door, knowing Mason was home.

He texted me when he got out of the office, and I couldn’t wait to see him. Most of my days were spent counting down the minutes to the time he gets home.

I didn’t knock. I let myself in with the key Mason had made for me, loving the freedom it allowed me. I could come and go as I pleased. I appreciated that he trusted me enough with this.

I was still getting used to it all. I never really had a serious relationship, and I refused to count Lorenzo as one, so everything Mason and I had done together so far was a brand-new experience I could easily revel in.

By the time I got the front door closed and locked it behind me, I was filled with warmth, despite the cold weather outside. The snow would no doubt be here for the next few months or so.

It wasn’t so bad in December, and I was actually looking forward to spending my holidays with both Max and Mason. Hopefully by the time Christmas came around, Max would already know about and be okay with my relationship with Mason.

I was planning on telling him over the weekend. By myself. I knew Mason wanted to be there, but I also felt like I needed to be the one to tell Max first.

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