Page 150 of The Young & the Sinner

“Olivia?”

“Yeah?”

She wrapped her arms tightly around my waist, as if she was afraid to let me go. I was afraid she might let go. I grabbed her and pulled her on top of me, letting the weight of her body ground me in ways nothing else had ever done.

She kissed my chest. “You’re okay, Mason. I’m here.”

“You’re here,” I said gruffly. I needed her here with me, now and forever. I didn’t know how to let her go.

I tightened my arms around her. “I’m sorry I woke you, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry you had a nightmare.”

I shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. Although, I hadn’t had this nightmare for months now. I wondered what brought this on now.

We didn’t say anything for a while. Olivia ran her hand gently in circles around my chest, but she was letting me get my thoughts on straight before she asked. And I knew she would ask.

She had to be curious about what happened. My assault wasn’t something I talked about with anyone. Aside from the other boys who shared the same experience with me, I had only told Max, and it wasn’t by choice. The second day I was home from camp, Max came to my room without knocking while I was changing and saw all the bruises. I couldn’t lie to him, even if I wanted to.

Five years later, Terrance Hughes committed suicide, and no one knew why he did it, save for two souls.

Sometimes, I dreamed about my time with him in his office. Other times, I dreamed of that night in the cabin, and I wasn’t sure which was worse.

And I didn’t know how I could explain what happened to me, and not tell her about what happened to Terrance.

“It’s always happened the same way,” I said before she could ask. Olivia’s hand paused briefly before picking right back up. I focused on her touch. “We’d be called into his office. And then…” I let out a humorless laugh. “I was so goddamn innocent back then. I didn’t even know what he was doing, or why he was taking my pant off, until he actually did it. That first time, it was the night before our first game against a rival team. He told me I was one of the best players on the team, and like the cocky little kid that I was, I ate it up. And he told me he could do something for me to help me be a better player.

“And I wanted that. I wanted to get better. So, I went into his office that night, and I did as he told me. He said he needed me to get naked, so that was what I did. I wasn’t modest.” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, hating how the memory still got to me.

Olivia leaned up and kissed my throat. I looked away from her, even though the room was bathed in darkness. I was glad for it. It was easier to tell her things in the dark.

“How many times did he hurt you?”

“Too many to count.”

She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my chest. “I’m sorry, Mason.”

“Shh, baby. It’s not your fault.”

“I’m still sorry it happened to you.”

“It’s over now. I promise.”

“Where is he now?” she asked, anger ringing out in her voice.

I hesitated. “He committed suicide.”

And it might be the way I said it, or the way my muscles tensed that prompted her to ask, “Why?”

I pulled her tighter into me. “He was coerced.”

There was nothing but silence in the room then. I felt her swallow before letting out a quick breath. “Who, uh… Who forced him?”

My arms tightened around her unconsciously. I swore I would never tell what had happened that night to another soul. It wasn’t just me I needed to protect. I wasn’t the only one there that night.

“You don’t have to tell me, if you’re not ready. Or if you don’t want to tell me. But I… you can trust me with anything, Mason. You know that, right?”

I brought her closer to me and kissed her temple. “I know, baby.”

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