Page 124 of The Young & the Sinner

The thing about having a dad who had you when he was still a kid was that you didn’t see him grow old. At least, not at first. No, I lived most of my life watching him and my mom grow up.

And he had grown up.

“Olivia.” He seemed just as surprised to see me as I was to see him. He probably didn’t even know that I worked here.

Max moved in front of me, as if he was expecting my dad to hurt me in some way, while Mason wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me in close. Dad narrowed his eyes on that movement, a look of disgust on his face.

I wanted to shrink back from the look in his eyes, but I couldn’t.

“We’re leaving,” Max said, and he looked back and motioned to the door. Mason nodded.

But before we could take another step, two little girls, younger than ten, came running toward us. No, they weren’t running toward us. They were running toward my dad.

“Daddy! Can we buy this? Please, please?” The smaller one of the two asked, holding up a coloring book.

I couldn’t look away from them. They looked like me. Which was to say, they looked just like my dad.

The three of us, the two little girls and me, were all a spitting images of the man who created us. But unlike me, they never had to work hard to earn that gentle look in his eyes. No… that, he gave to them freely.

I hated myself for being envious of them. They probably didn’t even know I existed. And I hated how my eyes burned. I looked away and tightened my hold on Mason. He cursed softly under his breath, and without another word, led me out of there, leaving his grocery cart behind.

I didn’t look back. I couldn’t look back.

I always wondered what happened to my dad after he left, and now I knew. He started another family. So it wasn’t that he was incapable of staying. He was just incapable of staying for me.

* * *

I wasquiet on the ride home. Neither brother said anything to me, though I caught Max’s eyes on me in the rearview mirror a few times. I looked away every time.

There was nothing to say to it.

It had been six years since he left. I was used to him being gone, so it wasn’t like seeing him again had impacted my life much in any way. But there was just something about knowing he had two little girls, who looked just like me, and who he had a better relationship with that hurt. And I hated how he still had the power to hurt me, even after these years. And the eldest was definitely older than six.

This meant he had her when he was still married to my mom.

My stomach twisted in revulsion. No wonder my parents’ marriage didn’t work out. They were both so toxic to each other. Unfaithful and obsessive, the both of them. I had thought my mom was the only one who cheated, but I guess I was wrong. I was now surprised they even lasted as long as they did.

I wondered if he was married. I didn’t pay attention to his ring finger when I first saw him, but chances were, he was. He had looked at me with disgust in his eyes, and I didn’t know what to make of that, either. I didn’t know what I had done wrong to deserve that kind of look, and I didn’t want to find out.

When we pulled up to the house, I got out the car and walked to the trunk. After Mason led me out of the store, Max transferred most of Mason’s groceries to his cart. Then he came out, loaded the bags, climbed into the car and we left. I didn’t look back to see if my dad was looking out after us.

I knew he wasn’t.

Max popped the trunk, and I grabbed a few of the bags and hurried my way inside. I caught Mason’s eyes, but I couldn’t stand to look at him long. I didn’t want to see the look of pity on his face. I would break down if I did.

We put the groceries away in silence.

Max said he would make dinner, then smiled at me. I couldn’t muster the energy to smile back. I excused myself to my room after, closing the door gently behind me.

I didn’t even know why I was feeling like this. Not having my parents in my life wasn’t anything new to me. And I had to find a way to get out of this dark mood soon, because I didn’t want to give my parents any more power over me than they already had.

A silent knock came at the door then. I wasn’t sure who I hoped itwouldn’t be more, Mason or Max.

I opened the door and Max stood there, his face solemn. “Can I come in?”

I nodded and moved back. Max came in and my room seemed much smaller somehow. I climbed onto my bed and sat on the edge. Max sat down next to me.

We didn’t say anything for a while. I could feel his eyes on me, but I pretended not to notice.

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