Page 7 of The Young & the Sinner

“Sure. Why don’t you turn it on while I get the popcorn?”

I grabbed the remote, and when I turned to Max, he was slowly getting up from the couch. “What are you doing?” I asked, poking the outside of his thigh with my foot.

“I don’t want to move too fast or I might break these brittle, old bones of mine,” he said in an exaggerated croaky voice.

I let out a tiny laugh, trying to shove him off the couch. It wasn’t as if I could. Max had a foot on me, coming in at six-foot-three and weighing at least two hundred pounds more than I did. He was a big man who played ice hockey in his college days, and even a decade later, had never lost the physique of a professional athlete. If anything, he seemed to have bulked up since that time, his features more refined with age, making him one intimidating-looking dude.

“Come on, old man, Imight get gray hair by the time you come back with the popcorn.”

He winked before moving off the couch and I shook my head, smiling so hard, my cheeks ached.

* * *

Weeks passedand a routine was established. I’d take the bus to and from school and work, because that was what I did when I was still living with my mom, except for the days when I worked late. Max insisted on him driving me home those days, and since it was a safety issue, I didn’t argue. When I didn’t have work, Max would be home early, and we would watch a movie or a TV show before dinner, and after dinner, we either did work by ourselves or in his office.

Max did everything he could to make sure I was happy living with him. I knew that. He’d completely changed his entire schedule so that it could sync up with mine. He was always there when I needed him, and though I was happy, I felt guilty.

Max was single and only in his early thirties. Men at this time were dating and having the time of their lives, not stuck at home trying to provide a good life for a teenager. But my need for him went beyond my guilt.

I didn’t think I could take it if Max left me, too. He was the only family I had left. In a way, he was like my older brother. In another way, he was like my parent. And after spending so much time with him, I could see that he was my friend as well.

I needed him.

There were nights when I couldn’t sleep, and I would walk to his room and sit down just outside his door, listening to him sleep, to the way he breathed, and even to the occasional snore that came out.

My mom left during the night, while I was asleep thinking everything was going to be okay. Unreasonably, I was afraid Max would leave me during the night as well.

I didn’t need a psychologist to tell me I had abandonment issues. I knew I did. I just hoped I hid them well from him. But sometimes, I would catch him staring at me with this concerned look on his face, and I didn’t want to think too much on what that might mean.

Could he see my issues? Did he know about some of my nightly visits outside his door? Could he see the desperation I tried so hard to hide? I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know.

After living with him for a month, Max informed me that he needed to go away on a business trip for the next four days. I panicked, and I couldn’t hide it in the tone of my voice, no matter how hard I tried.

“Do you really have to go?” I asked, my lips trembling. This was ridiculous. I knew I was being ridiculous. Four days wasn’t a long time, and most teenagers would be happy to hear they’d have the house to themselves.

But I gripped the throw pillow on my lap, trying to keep from reaching out to him. The panic I felt at the thought of him going away was almost too much to bear. Suddenly, I was shaking, and I didn’t know how to stop. I didn’t want Max to see me like this.

He swore under his breath, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me in. “Shh, sweetie. It’s okay. You know I’m not leaving you, don’t you?”

I nodded against his chest. Yeah, I did know that. Yet, I couldn’t stop from feeling like he was.

“I promise I’ll call every night. And you can have Lizzie come stay with you while I’m gone.”

Yeah, I guessed Lizzie could stay with me. She would get my mind off of his absence. “Can’t I come with you?” I asked instead.

Max pulled back and looked at me. He looked like he was seconds away from saying yes, but at the last moment, shook his head. “Ah, sweetheart. I would take you with me everywhere if I could. I’d put you in my pocket and carry you around. You’re tiny enough for it. Surely, you would be safer that way.”

My lips curled up in a small smile. I was only five-foot-three. I knew I was tiny compared to a lot of people. And Max was joking, trying to make me feel better. His eyes lit up when mine did, and my smile widened.

Then he sobered up and looked at me with serious eyes. “Listen to me, Olive, and listen well. I will always be here for you. Until my dying breath, I swear it. I won’t leave you. And I’m sure you’ll get tired of me soon enough.”

“Never,” I said vehemently.

His lips twitched. “One day, you’re going to meet a nice boy and fall in love. And he’ll want to marry you, because, look at you. You’re kind and sweet and smart. And he’ll want to take you away from me. But even then, I’ll always be here. Always watching. I’m not going anywhere.”

I shook my head. Who said I wanted to get married? I wasn’t even dating anyone. I’d stay here with Max forever if he’d let me. “Maybe I don’t want to meet a nice boy and fall in love.”

He shot me an amuse smile. “You might not have a choice in that matter.”

---