Page 2 of The Young & the Sinner

Olivia

Present day

There were times in my life I wished I could escape from reality. To just shut off my brain, if only for a little while. To just… not be here anymore.

Anywhere but here. Please, just take me away from here.

“Olivia, are you listening to me?” Max’s voice was gentle, and I hated it. Hated how he talked to me like I was on the verge of breaking. Hated that it might be true. That I was breaking, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

I whimpered, then found myself in his strong arms, my face buried in his chest. Still, the tears wouldn’t come. I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry so badly, it literally hurt. My hand moved between our bodies until I found my chest and rubbed at the dull ache taking residence there.

Nothing helped eased the pain, and I slumped against his hard body, resigned.

“I don’t want you to worry about anything, okay? All you need to do is focus on graduating. I will be here with you every step of the way, I promise.”

“You will?” My voice cracked on the last word. Wasn’t that the kind of promises mothers made to their daughters?

You gave me life, you’re bound to me, so why was it so easy for you to leave me behind?

Why did she leave me, and why was Max staying when he had no familial obligation to me whatsoever?

“She didn’t tell you where she was going?”

His eyes were sad when they met mine. There was a world of heartbreak in those blue eyes of his. “I’m sorry. She didn’t tell me anything.”

I looked to the side of his head, unable to meet his eyes any longer. Mom didn’t just leave me behind. She left behind the one man who had loved her more than anything in the world. The one man who would have given her the universe had she only asked for it.

But she never asked.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He shook his head and let out a humorless laugh. “Me? I don’t know what I am right now.”

“Yeah.” I knew the sentiment.

“Listen to me, sweetheart. This isn’t on you. And it’s not on me. We didn’t do anything wrong, even if it feels like that now. I know how easy it is to blame yourself when these things happen, but you have to remember, we did everything we could for her. Some people are just beyond saving.”

Did my mom need saving? I always thought it was me who was drowning, and she was my only lifeline. And now that was gone. And now she was gone.

I had wished her goodnight before I went to bed, and when morning came and she had left, along with all of her clothes and possession. Her room stood to be nothing more than an empty shell, and I wasn’t sure if I had place in this house anymore.

That was why Max wanted me to pack up my stuff, leave the house I grew up in behind, and move in with him. This still felt like nothing more than a nightmare.

“Come on,” he said, his voice soft. “Let’s get you all packed up. I have a room set up for you at my house.”

I nodded and followed along. I no longer had the energy to do anything else.

* * *

We spentthe better part of the weekend clearing out the house. Max didn’t want me there because he wasn’t sure my mom would continue making her monthly mortgage payment. He was certain we were going to lose the house at some point, and he didn’t want me to be here when that happened.

I didn’t doubt him.

Most of the furniture in the house was older than me, so we donated the bulk of it to a thrift store, while the things he thought I might want to hold onto went into storage. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that there was nothing here that I wanted. We were both dealing with this heartbreak in our own way, and so I let him do whatever he thought was best.

Max cleared out everything in the house with a single-minded focus. I didn’t ask him if he was okay again.

I knew he wasn’t.

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