Page 15 of Single Girl Rules #GoddessContest

“Ash! Stop yelling or the banana king will find the earbud.”

“But I love you.”

The last time Ash had told me she loved me this much… “Ash, have you been drinking?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“You know I don’t drink. I’ve only had a few glasses of banana juice. It’s delicious. Do you want some? Wait, where did you say you were?”

“In your ear.”

“Right. You’re invisible.”

Ash was such a bad bitch. I loved how she didn’t consider being three glasses deep at 8 am drinking. And she didn’t seem scared at all about being kidnapped. But that was probably the booze talking.

“Are you okay?” I asked. “No one’s tried to hurt you?”

“No one can hurt me. I’m invisible. Or are you invisible? Or are we both invisible?!”

“Ash, you’ve been kidnapped.”

“You’ve been kidnapped!” she said and hiccupped.

She was definitely drunk. “So no one’s tried to touch you inappropriately? Or…appropriately?”

“No. I’ve just been sitting by the pool…. Oh my God!”

“What? Are you okay?”

“Oh God, no! I’m gonna die!”

“Ash!! What’s happening?” I looked over at Ghostie. He couldn’t hear our conversation, but he looked equally alarmed. What if we were too late?

“I’m dying!” she yelled.

“Ash! Tell me what’s going on so I can help!”

“You won’t even believe it. Chastity…I…I…”

“You what?!” For the love of God, if the banana king was railing her, she was about to be split open. She wasn’t prepared for that size dick yet. A girl had to ease into something like that. She needed a starter dick.

“I…I…forgot to wear sunscreen,” she whispered in horror. It sounded like she was seconds away from bursting into tears.

“Wait, what about sunscreen?”

“I love sunscreen. So much. I’m in love with it. And now I’m burnt because I forgot the thing I’m in love with. I’m going to die of skin cancer. I need a screening. Is there a doctor here?”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Girl, one sunburn isn’t going to kill you.”

“It won’t?”

“No. It’ll probably just make you tan.” I shook my head at Ghostie to let him know Ash wasn’t currently dying. Just trying her best to scare me to death.

“I don’t know what tan is,” Ash said. “I’m a pasty bitch.”

“Yeah you are!”

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