Page 15 of Hardest Hearts

I pull the robe around me, my hand skimming over the notebook. It’s too dark in here to read, so I take a few steps to the entrance.

Michael shakes his head.

I wave the book at him. It’s only after a glance at Tail that he lets me pass.

It takes me only seconds to realize it’s because Tail is following me. He may not be rattling, but I can hear the slide of scales over stones. I don’t know what he expects, given that he can’t read, and I can’t talk, but I don’t glare at him to stay back.

Instead, I take a moment to find a place where I can sit, and he can coil. There’s a flattish stone with views over the next plain we need to cross. There are more mountains, clawed and jagged, and the thin spire that is straighter and taller than all of them. How many days will it take us to get there?

Tail moves up next to me. “It was at the next lot of mountains I lost my legs…do you think I’ll find them?”

I smile, but I’m not sure if he’s being funny or serious.

I shrug. I want to tell him that I hope he does. That I think he can. That it will be easier when we unlock what went on before. Those who can’t remember who they were, will find it harder to revert. That’s my theory anyway. I might be wrong.

But if the changes are unique to each person, it must be something to do with their memories and thoughts.

So how do I stop believing that I’m a bitch when I am? I grimace and go to sit on the rock. I will read Tail’s book before I give it to Talon to read out loud.

“Don’t be silly.” He coils and arranges himself so that I can sit on a loop of his tail, and he lies on his side to watch me read, which is only a little disconcerting. “Tell me if you find something good.”

Tell him? I glare at him.

“And rip out the pages if it’s something I wouldn’t want the others hearing.”

I lift my hands. Like what? What wouldn’t he want the others to know?

“Fine, teach me how to read.” He moves closer.

I feel the tension in his body. I’m sure that if I weren’t sitting on him, he’d be slithering back and forth.

I glance back at the cave where Talon and Michael are. I can only see Michael sitting at the entrance, keeping watch from a distance. What does he think is going to happen? Tail will protect me…oh. Does he think we will pick up where we left off without him?

“I saw you, and him, today when you stopped to drink.”

I sigh. I hadn’t been able to see him or Talon, but since Tail was watching, no doubt Talon had been too.

“And I saw you on the path leading him up.” He puts his hand over mine. “I’ve had all day to be jealous and seethe and rattle, but I realize being angry isn’t going to change anything, but it might change me. Do you know how hard it is to not be annoyed that you like him more?”

My heart aches for him. It’s not that I like Michael more. It’s that I know him from before. Though I’m not sure that matters, as everything is so different now.

“What I’m trying to say is, and I shouldn’t be saying it, is that you don’t have to keep your end of the deal. I don’t want to be the kind of monster that takes what he feels is his share.” He gives a tiny rattle. “I hate myself for saying that, just so you know.”

I lean over and press a soft kiss to his lips before he can say anything else. My palm cups his jaw for a few seconds so I can hold his gaze.

All four of his amber eyes watch me. “What does that mean? I said that you didn’t have to do anything. I’ll keep helping because I want to go home. Though how I will climb that thing without legs, I have no idea. It’s fucked, that’s what it is. I need to find legs before we get there.”

I smooth my thumb over his mouth to shush him.

Then I pull out the notebook. Instead of pulling away, I nestle in close like he can read over my shoulder, and he plays along.

The first page is a panicked rant about darkness and screaming and not knowing what is going on. He mentions hiding but doesn’t say where. The next page is about monsters.

Some words are hard to read because of the cut through the pages Talon made. On others the ink has been smudged by water, or tears.

His first fight comes about three pages in. That’s the first change in his handwriting.

He points to the page. “Something happened there.”

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