Page 4 of Protective Biker

Brandy

I'm not a crier. I didn't cry when I was 10 years old and my mother left me. I didn't cry when my father was sentenced to prison and left me to live with my uncle. But now, in Diesel's arms, I let go. Big, uncontrollable sobs wrack through my body. And he holds me even tighter against his chest. I try to stop. I try to get a hold of myself, but the tears won't stop flowing.

He walks through the back door, out into the gravel parking lot. I'm thankful that he didn't walk us back to the front where everyone was. His feet crunch across the gravel, and he goes into another back door that leads to where all of the bedrooms are. At the end of the hallway, he kicks open the door of his room, walking in and then using his hip to close it behind us.

He sits down in the chair, holding me in his lap. I try to get up, but he doesn't let me. "Stay where you're at. If you won't stay for yourself, then stay for me. I just need to make sure that you're okay."

With my head cradled against his chest, I take a deep breath and try to get myself settled. It's only when I start to calm myself that I notice his heart is racing and he's trembling. I settle back into his arms, lifting my head to look at him. "I'm sorry," I start.

He clenches his eyes shut. His voice is deep and thick as he says, "Fuck, don't tell me that you're sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for."

I put my hand on his shirt. It's wet from where I had laid my face on it. I laugh a little. "I cried and snotted all over you."

He covers my hand with his, holding it there against his chest. "I don't mind," he says.

I can feel my face heat as I think about breaking down in his arms. "I never cry. I mean, never."

He nods his head. "I believe that."

He doesn’t seem to be bothered by my crying, but I insist on trying to explain myself. "I probably wouldn't have cried until you held me. It's like years of crap I've been holding in came out." It's on the tip of my tongue to apologize again, but I hold it in.

He lifts his hand and pushes the hair off of my face. "Crying doesn't make you weak."

I tilt my head to the side and look at him. "Oh yeah? I can't see you doing it a lot."

He shrugs his shoulders. "When I lost my friends in battle, I cried. When my parents died, I cried. I don't think that makes me weak."

I know that he's ex-military just like the rest of the guys that are in the MC. I look at his broad chest and big tattooed arms and shake my head. "No, no one would say you're weak." I take a deep breath as my mind starts to wander, and I blurt out, "I guess I need to find another job."

He's shaking his head before I even get the words out. "Why would you say that?"

I close my eyes and lean my head against his chest. "Because I can't face Axel again."

His body tightens underneath of me. "You won't have to. He won't ever step foot in here again."

I rear back and look at him in surprise. "But he's one of you all."

Diesel flinches as if I offended him. "He wanted to be a guardian, but there's no way that's going to happen. Plus you're one of us."

I shake my head side to side. "I'm not, though."

He nods his head, leaning it toward me. "I say you are."

Instead of arguing with him, I ask him another question. "Is Pres going to be mad at me? It's obvious he doesn't like me anyway."

Diesel shrugs his shoulders. "He doesn't like any woman. Don't take any offense at that, but no, he won't be mad. I'd say he's finished off Axel anyway."

My eyes widen as I take in what he's saying. "Finished off?"

Diesel's voice drops a whole octave. "Brandy, if I hadn't come along, he wouldn't have stopped. You know what he would have done to you. Trust me. Pres won't let him leave standing."

I gasp. "Oh my God, is he going to kill him?"

With a smirk on his face, Diesel shakes his head. "No, but Axel will probably wish he was dead."

Diesel and I stare at each other. There's a chemistry between us. There's no doubt about it, but it's not anything that I can act on. I won't be just another cherry for the MC and knowing how it all worked, that's probably exactly what Diesel is looking for. I won't ever just be someone's quick lay.

"I need to get back to work," I murmur.

Diesel is still holding my hand against his chest, and he circles his palm around mine, holding on to it. "Maybe you need to take the rest of the night off."

The truth is if I could stay right here in Diesel's lap for the rest of the night, I would do just that. I haven't felt this safe or cared for in a long time. As a matter of fact, I've never felt how I feel right now, and I know it could be addicting.

"No, I need to get up and get moving. I need to get back to reality. I can't leave Scout hanging. I really should get back out there."