Page 13 of Protective Biker

Brandy

I’ve fallen for the one man I can’t have. I’ve avoided all relationships, and the one time I let my guard down, it’s like he has a death wish. I got caught up in how he made me feel, and I shouldn’t have. There’s no future between us, especially if he’s doing things that are going to get him killed. I can’t just stand by and act like I’m okay with it.

I head out to the front and stop next to Scout. “Hey, I’m feeling a little sick. Do you care if I cut out early?”

He looks at me worriedly. “You okay?”

I nod and bite my lip to hold in the sob. “Yes, I’m okay.”

He looks at me doubtfully but finally nods his head. “Sure thing, little bit. It’s slow anyway.”

I nod and walk to the back and grab my purse before going to the parking lot and getting in my car. I avoid all the looks from the men standing around. I’m not in the mood for any of it.

I drive off without even looking back. The whole way home, I’m trying to figure out what to do. My phone dings, and it’s a text message from Diesel apologizing. I turn my phone to silent and toss it into my purse. I’m weak when it comes to him, and it wouldn’t take much for me to drive right back to the clubhouse where he’s at. But then I remember that he was shot today. He was shot and acts as if it’s not a big deal.

I hold back the tears, refusing to cry. As soon as I walk into the duplex I share with my uncle, I start packing my clothes.

My uncle’s gruff voice fills the room. “You going somewhere?”

He’s a drunk. He’s always been one and will probably always be one. The only good thing about it is he’s not mean. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure he does it to numb the pain of losing his wife years ago. “Yeah, uh, I’m going into the city to see Amber. I haven’t seen her in a while.” I mention a friend that I went to high school with. She’s my only friend that never judged me for what my father did. She’s already graduated college and lives in an apartment downtown. I can lie low there for a few days, then when I come back the Guardians will already be on their way to Tennessee.

He harumphs. “It’s sudden, isn’t it?”

When I don’t answer, he asks me, “What’s going on, Brandy?”

I stop packing to look at him. “Look, I just need to get out of here. I’ll be back in four days—a week tops. But I’m fine.”

I try to force a smile, but I know he sees right through it. He finally shrugs his shoulders. I’m an adult, and it’s not like he can forbid me from going or anything. “You need some money or anything?”

I shake my head. “No, thank you, though. I’ll call you and let you know I made it safely.”

He leaves my room, and I finish packing. I call up Amber, and like the good friend she is, she’s more than happy for me to come and crash at her apartment. She doesn’t ask any questions, but I’m sure when I get there, she’ll ask plenty.

As soon as I finish packing, I’m out the door as if someone’s chasing me. There’s a part of me that knows Diesel is going to come looking for me. I’m just not sure when.

I drive the hour north, and my phone continues to quietly vibrate with incoming phone calls and messages. I should ignore it, but I dig the phone out and see that they’re all from Diesel. Fuck, this hurts. It hurts more than I ever thought I could hurt. It’s a joke that I was falling for him. I’m way past that. Somewhere in the past week, I’ve fallen in love with Diesel the biker. Right or wrong, smart or stupid, I did it. But I know that if there’s anyone that can break me, it will be him. Just the fact he does something dangerous has me wanting to run. I know I can’t stand by him day in and day out wondering if today is the day he gets hurt. The day he dies. I thought I was strong, but obviously not as strong as I like to think I am.

I shut off my phone. Mostly because I can already feel myself weakening, wanting to hear his voice. No, ending this now is for the best.

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