Page 32 of Silent Secrets

“No,” I mumble into his shirt, fighting my smile when his chest rumbles with laughter.

“It might make you feel better.”

He’s not wrong. It might help to talk about everything, but that doesn’t mean that I want to do that. But I also don’t think he’s going to let this go, which is both slightly annoying and endearing.

“Did you know my mom died a few months ago?” I risk a glance up at him, finding his face filled with sympathy.

“So you lost the woman who raised you just before coming to Sorlphi? Or, I guess, it’s better to say being kidnapped and brought here. Where you then find out that you’re Fae and that your whole birth family is dead?” Caiden shakes his head. “Damn, baby.”

My chest warms at the endearment as I nod. “And everything I’ve ever believed has turned out to be a lie. I have no family in either realm. I’m alone. The only people I speak to here are Grace, Adaline, and the four of you. Hunter hates me. Kai, up until last night, couldn’t look at me for longer than thirty seconds. Marcos spends most of his time flirting with me. And then there’s you, who told me I should give up my throne and leave this realm before I’d even begun.”

At his wince, I feel bad for just a moment, but it’s gone before I can consider stopping the words spewing from my mouth. Not that it would have made me stop, but I might have paused… or not.

“I’m learning non-stop, spending most of my day being overwhelmed with information that I may or may not need when I take the throne—if I take the throne. Because, for all I know, Grace is wrong and I’m not the Fae Queen. We have no way of knowing until my birthday—which is another thing. I thought I was already twenty-one, but no, my birthday is two weeks later than I thought. There’s only one day out of seven that I don’t have lessons, but I’m busy spending that day shoving more information in my head by reading. Not to mention, I’m practically a prisoner here—I’m not allowed to leave the palace.

“So while I’m trying to learn all of this stuff, I’m constantly around the four of you, and you guys are all fucking gorgeous. Everyone here is fucking gorgeous, but no one talks to me except for Grace, Adaline, and the four of you. Then last night happened with you, me, Kai & Marcos and damn… but of course, Hunter had to come along and ruin it. Because obviously I deserve nothing good.”

Caiden starts to speak, but I’m not done yet. Now that I’ve started, I can’t stop.

“Then after I ran away, embarrassed, I read the book that I found and it turns out that I’m expected to get married a month after my coronation to four different people. Which doesn’t freak me out in the least bit, because why would it? It’s completely normal to marry multiple people. And then you kissed me today even though it’s obvious that you’re with Kai—even though there’s some stupid law that says it’s not allowed—and I don’t know what the hell to do with that. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about you and Kai.

“When I confronted Grace about needing to get married and demanding to know what happened to my family, I made her cry. I think she might have been in love with the Seelie Queen. Though I’m not sure and I don’t even know why I’m focusing on that. My entire birth family was murdered, and no one knows who did it. For all I know, someone could come for me next. They could’ve been trying to take the throne, but of course, no one knew about me. So obviously I threw a wrench into their plans. For all I know, I could go to bed one night and never wake up again. I’m not ready to die. I want a chance to prove that I can be the best damn Fae Queen that Sorlphi has ever seen, but I might not get the chance.”

I’m breathing heavily, having spilled my every fear to this man who’d held me as I sobbed in his arms. Tears stream down my cheeks, but I feel lighter. I almost can’t believe it, but I really do feel better.

“Are you done now? Is it my turn?” Caiden lifts his eyebrows, waiting until I nod before he continues, “That’s a lot, baby. I don’t even know where to start.”

“I don’t need or expect you to fix my problems, Caiden,” I scoff. “I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.”

He cups my face in both of his hands, refusing to allow me to look away from him. “Hey, now. Don’t do that. I know you don’t expect anything, and that you don’t need to be rescued, but I have things I want to say and I think you need to hear them.”

He doesn’t release his hold on me as he continues to stare down at me. I sigh, feeling it deep inside my soul, as I give him a slight nod. After I blurted out more information than he needed to hear, the least I can do is listen to what he has to say.

“First, I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with so much shit all at once. No one should have to deal with all of this at once and I get that it can be overwhelming.” He chuckles when I make a face. “Second, I’m sorry that our first interaction was me trying to get you to leave. It shouldn’t have mattered, but I didn’t know you, and I didn’t think a mortal-raised Fae had a chance at being the queen we needed her to be.

“But,” he cuts off the argument that starts to spill from my lips, “I know better now. I’ve seen no one work as hard as you have to learn so much, so quickly. And the fact that you’re retaining most of it is a miracle. I think you can be the queen that we need if you keep going the way that you are.”

“Really?” My heart is in my throat, barely being able to believe his words.

“Really.” His thumbs stroke along my cheeks. “As far as last night with Kai and I, and my kissing you today? That’s simple. I love Kai and I plan to be with him for the rest of my life—no matter what the assholes in charge say. But that doesn’t mean that he and I aren’t open to more than just the two of us. Kai doesn’t connect with many people, but when he does? He doesn’t let them go. And last night, he definitely connected with you. He couldn’t stop talking about you and your pretty pink pussy last night.”

My eyes go wide and I try to duck my head as I flush, but Caiden continues to hold me in place, refusing to let me look away from him. I don’t understand why talking about sex is so embarrassing. I’ve had plenty of it—I’ve just never discussed it with anyone before, let alone with a man who I wanted to fuck. And I definitely wanted to fuck Caiden—especially after last night.

“Don’t think I missed that you said we’re all gorgeous, either—though not a damn one of us holds a candle to your beauty.”

I want to laugh, because it sounds so cheesy, but I don’t. I don’t because it feels like he’s being truthful, not just trying to get in my pants.

“Did you know that I would have to get married?” My voice is barely audible, but when he grows serious, I know he heard me.

Caiden nods. “I did. I didn’t know that you didn’t know. That probably should’ve been told to you up front.”

“Is that what this is, then? Is this just so that you can be one of my consorts?” I ask as I gesture between the two of us, not wanting to ask, but knowing that I need to hear his answer. I know he has to feel the way I tense up and hear the accusation in my voice.

The hurt flutters across his face, there and then gone again in a moment as he gives a sharp shake of his head before he makes a face. “I don’t know how to answer that. I want to say no because I know that even if you weren’t getting ready to take the throne, I’d want you. But on the other hand, I do want to be one of your consorts.”

I fight against the pain that threatens to overwhelm me. I can’t get mad at him for being honest.

“Are you doing this only as a way to gain power?”

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