Page 60 of Silent Secrets

Hadley

It’sfunnyhowsometimes time passes by so slowly and at others it passes by so quickly. The days following the threat in my room move quickly as I continue my lessons, but the guys are my constant companions. As someone who has had no close friends, it’s weird for me to be constantly surrounded by people, but I don’t hate it. I don’t know if that’s because I’ve always been lonely, or if it’s because of the men that surround me.

Too bad there’s zero chance of me escaping the palace now. I don’t know if Grace would have allowed me outside of the palace before the threat in my room, but she definitely isn’t letting me out now. I’m going half crazy. Staring at the same walls and the same faces—no matter how attractive they are—day in and day out is making me lose my mind.

We still don’t know who made the threat or if they’ll come back, but I’ve forced myself to not focus on it. There’s too much else that needs my attention. There’s only two more days until my birthday when I’ll be presented to the Fae as their future queen. That feels like a much more immediate problem to me.

Grace canceled my lessons for the day so that she and Adaline can help me pick out my outfit for the masquerade. As someone who has never enjoyed shopping, I’m a little concerned about how the day is going to go. And why we need an entire day is also worrying. I almost wish that she would just pick out something for me to wear. After all, she’d done well that one day, picking out my outfit.

But I don’t want to be pissed if she picks out something that I hate. So I guess we’ll be picking out a dress today.

I don’t even get to see the guys this morning, as Adaline has brought my breakfast to my room. Not that I don’t appreciate having breakfast brought to me, but if I don’t get to see them during lessons, I thought I’d get to see them at breakfast. That I care about possibly not seeing them at all today is also worrying.

Let’s be real. There’s a lot that is worrying me right now.

“Are you all right, Hadley?”

I glance up from my coffee to find Adaline staring at me, worry in her eyes. I force myself to smile as I nod.

“Of course, I’m just lost in thought. So an entire day to pick out an outfit, huh?”

Adaline laughs, throwing her head back at the look on my face. Obviously, I didn’t hide my feelings on the matter as well as I had hoped. “It won’t be that bad, Hadley. My mom just wanted to be sure that we had plenty of time to find just the right outfit, as it’s your introduction to the Fae. You’re the future queen, so you have to make the right impression. Plus, once we pick it out, they’ll need to tailor it so there will be measuring and pinning.”

“Oh, joy.”

Once again I try to smile, but I end up grimacing, which sends Adaline into another peal of laughter. It makes me feel lighter, better about the day. At least she’s here with me. She’s the first true friend that I’ve made. I might not have been able to hang out with her much between her job and my lessons, but we make sure to see each other every night so that we can catch up. I didn’t know what I was missing in my old life when I didn’t have close friends, ever.

That’s not true. I did know what I was missing. I just chose to ignore it because there wasn’t anything I could do to fix it.

There’s a light knock on the door before it’s pushed open to reveal Grace. She glances between the two of us, smiling when Adaline’s laughter continues. A smile that I easily return. Things have gotten a little easier between Grace and me since our talk, now that I know everything that she’d been keeping from me—or so she tells me, and I choose to trust that she’s telling me the truth. She’s opened up to me more about my birth mother and my siblings, allowing me to get to know a family that I never would have been able to otherwise. She didn’t know my father, or his kids as well, but she tries to tell me as much as she can.

“I’m glad that the two of you are in such high spirits today.” She glances behind her and nods before pushing the door open. “Go ahead and bring it in.”

My jaw drops as I watch person after person enter the room, pushing in or carrying items for me to go through. There are so many racks of dresses that I can’t even count them. There are stacks upon stacks of what I’m guessing are shoes, and glass cases of masks set all about my new sitting room.

Because I have not returned to my old suite since the night of the incident, even after they had finished cleaning it. I just can’t imagine walking back in there without seeing the blood. Now I’m in a completely different wing. It’s closer to the guys’ wing than the last one, which has been nice considering how much time I’ve been spending with them.

“How am I ever going to choose?”

Grace’s hand lands on my shoulder, squeezing lightly as Adaline laughs once more. I narrow my eyes as I stare at her, but it only causes her to laugh harder.

“That’s why you have me and Adaline. We’ll go through the racks and see what you like and don’t like—while also making sure that it’s appropriate. Though there shouldn’t be anything in here that isn’t appropriate. I told them what I wanted for you. But once we narrow the number down, we’ll have you try them on to see what looks best. We’ll keep narrowing it down until we find the right one. That’s why I cleared your day.”

I shake my head as the last person disappears, leaving us alone with an overwhelming amount of choices. As I look over the racks, I realize that they’re divided by color, but there are colors missing. I frown as I turn to Grace.

“Am I not allowed to wear black?”

“Ahhhh, well, it’s not that you’re not allowed… Usually you would choose your gown first to be sure that no one else could wear the same color except your consorts. But we’ve been busy, so I put it off. Each of the minor courts has already chosen their colors, so those aren’t available to you.”

“I’m sorry,” I say as I blink up at her. “I can’t wear certain colors because the minor courts have picked them? What the hell does that even mean?”

“The duke and duchess of each court chooses a color that they wish to wear and then everyone from their court will also dress in that color. No other court can have the same color, so you’ll know who belongs to which court. And of course, we don’t want you wearing the same color as any one court, as it would seem as if you were favoring them.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. This is even worse than the time that you tried to explain fated mates to me. Everyone should be able to wear whatever color they want to. I don’t want this.”

Grace sighs. “I understand and I’m sorry, but it’s been this way for hundreds of years and it’s too late to change it now. We can look into doing it differently for your coronation if you’d like.”

“Hell, yes, I’d like.”

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