Page 35 of Bound to Him

“Mamà had the best ideas.”

I could still remember when it was decided. We were about five and three, and Mamà didn’t like us being around all the masculinity and guns all the time. Papà gladly gave her exactly what she wanted, and a wall was erected, closing our bedrooms in with a sizable courtyard. We spent days out here with her, planting and possibly killing the plants our mamà had already put in, but it was all fun and laughter. She had a grown lemon tree hauled in and planted right in the middle.

“Yeah,” she sighed, “I miss her.”

“Me too.”

We looked over the plants for a few moments, fully grown bushes of flowers of all kinds, even bees, and butterflies flitting in between them. It was more beautiful than ever.

“Um… I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?” I put my phone into my back pocket and turned to face her. “What’s up?”

“You know when you were with Steven? How did you know that you loved him?” She was looking down at her fingers.

“Ah… Well, I didn’t.” I shrugged a shoulder. “I thought I did, but I can see in hindsight that I was more eager to get out of this house and away from Papà than I was to actually be with Steven.”

“So, you don’t think you’d still be with him now? If Papà hadn’t come after you?”

I had to think about that one. I couldn’t even tell if I was glad that everything went down the way it did. It was a fucking disaster and here we both were at square one—getting ready to be married to men we didn’t love. I’d have been a lot better off if I’d just calmed down and married Huxley in the first place. But I didn’t know… I didn’t know that he’d be so fucking irresistible. And sexy. And—oh god, Viola was watching me.

“I um… I don’t know. Why are you asking all this?”

She bit her bottom lip. “You have to pinky swear this will stay between us, okay?”

We hooked pinkies, I winked, then continued to hold her hand. “Of course. Always.”

“Well…” her voice cracked. “I think I’m in love. With someone else… not Huxley.”

“Oh?” Of course, I knew it wasn’t Huxley… but I didn’t realize she’d fallen in love with her bodyguard.

“Um, it’s Matt. My bodyguard… he just makes me feel really happy all the time. I always want to be around him… it’s why I’ve been disappearing so much recently.”

I sighed, tried to smile warmly, and be there for her. “Oh, Vee.” I actually felt tears prick my eyes. “I’m happy for you… love is a precious thing.”

She laughed, her eyes looking moist as well. “I know this is like, the worst thing possible… but… I’m so glad you’re at least happy for me.”

“Yeah,” I smiled, “I am glad that you’ve had the chance to feel it… but I’m also glad you know that it’s not a good thing… not now… not ever, I guess.”

“I know…”

“If there’s anything you should take from my time with Steven, it should be how it ended.”

Now her tears looked more sad than happy. “I know.”

“Look,” I tipped her chin up, to have her look at me, “I’m the last person to judge or tell you what to do, but just remember that Papà doesn’t believe in our love. I don’t know if it’s because Mamà died… but he’s just never going to accept it. We need to be strong and not give him reason to be cruel, okay?”

Viola closed her eyes, tears spilling onto her cheeks.

“Just please be careful, Vee…” I wiped her cheeks with my thumbs. “Don’t let anyone find out. Love is amazing and beautiful, but it can also destroy you if you’re not careful.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you really going to marry that sleaze and never love anyone for the rest of your life?”

I immediately thought about Huxley. Oh, I was pretty sure I loved someone. It was idiotic of me to consider our whirlwind sex affair as love, but I had no other explanation. I also wanted to be with him all the time. I smiled whenever I thought of him. It would break my heart to never be with him again, but at least I’d go into a loveless marriage knowing that I’d felt real love before. Obviously, I couldn’t tell Viola this, even if she was being so honest with me. I couldn’t risk this getting out, it affected too many people.

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